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A Little More Mary, A Little Less Martha View Comments
by Susan Hines-Brigger

As I write this, I am surrounded by a basket of clothes that should be folded and put away, dishes that should be loaded into the dishwasher, floors that should be swept and a million and one other tasks to which I probably should be attending. Oh, and it’s almost dinnertime, too, so I should get busy preparing a meal. But instead, I’m sitting here typing out this column because I have a deadline looming. Not exactly the way I want to wrap up my weekend.

To add insult to injury, my five-year-old daughter, Riley, just came bounding into the room to ask me if I would like to play a game with her and her brother, Alex. I want to say yes, but I find myself saying no.

“I’m really busy,” I tell her, hoping she’ll understand. But the look on her face as she leaves the room tells me she doesn’t. I know the look. I’ve been seeing it a lot these days when I try to explain to my kids, my friends, my family that I’m too busy to spend time with them. Too often lately, I’ve found myself taking the role of Martha from the Bible (Luke 10:38-42).

A Biblical Case Study

The story of Martha and Mary is one that has always spoken to me as a woman, a wife, a mom and a sister. And it’s one with whose message I’ve struggled. The two women, as well as their brother, Lazarus, were friends of Jesus. In the passage, we hear how Mary and Martha invited Jesus into their home.

During his visit, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to him speak. Martha, however, took it upon herself to stay busy with all the household duties. Finally, totally exasperated and irritated, I imagine, she says to Jesus, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” (Oh, as a mom, how many times I have heard that line from my
children!)

Jesus’ answer? “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

Lessons to Learn

My friend Jenny often makes reference to that story. She does a good job of encouraging those around her to be a little more Mary and slightly less Martha in their lives. I’m not sure whether to be comforted or concerned that this many years after the Bible was written, we’re still trying to strike that balance. Martha apparently thought Mary had no business trying to be a disciple of Jesus. Eventually, St. Martha became exactly that.

Let’s be honest. It seems that these days we’re all busier than ever, working longer, running faster. And we’re all still struggling. How many moments have I missed simply by choosing to be busy with things that in the long run will turn out to be nothing more than busywork? Will my family remember the times they had matching socks in their drawer, or the times we played at the park?

Striking a Balance

Some of us are better at finding the balance than others. My husband, Mark, is one who seems to have mastered the challenge. I have not. Too many times household chores and work have taken precedence over things such as crafts, board games and snuggling up on the couch with my husband or one of my kids.

Am I suggesting that we dismiss the Martha roles in our lives? Of course not, just as I don’t think we should dismiss the importance of doing those things that we don’t always deem essential. So this month I challenge you to try to find your balance.

But don’t think I’m asking you to go it alone. Nope, I am giving my notice. For the foreseeable future, I will be devoting as much time to the Mary side of my life as to my Martha.

It may mean e-mails and phone calls will not be returned within five minutes—or the kids will have to find their own socks in the basket of laundry—or I will say no more often. But this mom is determined to find a way for work and play to coexist peacefully in my life and not cause me undue stress. I’m doing this not only because it’s good for me, but also for the sake of my family and friends.

To get started, tonight I’m going to choose the better part, ignore the mountains of laundry and spend time with my family. I hope you will join me in this new adventure. After all, that’s what Jesus would want us to do.

Take This and Eat

Just as Martha felt burdened by singlehandedly preparing the meal for Jesus, I also feel the pressures of meal preparation. Trying to find healthy, quick and tasty recipes to prepare for my family has left me looking for a better—and easier—way. Many times I have found myself lamenting to anyone who will listen that I am tired of making the same meals. Every time, friends and family have responded with their tried-and-true recipes. So now I’m reaching out to you, our readers. Send me your favorite recipes: Mail them, e-mail them or post them on our Facebook wall at www.Facebook.com/StAnthonyMessengerMagazine. Help this mom of four find a little more Mary time.

Do you have ideas or suggestions for topics you'd like to see addressed in this column? If so, send them to me at "A Catholic Mom Speaks," 28 W. Liberty Street, Cincinnati, OH 45202-6498, or e-mail them to CatholicMom@franciscanmedia.org.

Thank you for your comments. Editors will review all posts before they are visible on the website.

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John of Capistrano: It has been said the Christian saints are the world’s greatest optimists. Not blind to the existence and consequences of evil, they base their confidence on the power of Christ’s redemption. The power of conversion through Christ extends not only to sinful people but also to calamitous events. 
<p>Imagine being born in the 14th century. One-third of the population and nearly 40 percent of the clergy were wiped out by the bubonic plague. The Western Schism split the Church with two or three claimants to the Holy See at one time. England and France were at war. The city-states of Italy were constantly in conflict. No wonder that gloom dominated the spirit of the culture and the times. </p><p>John Capistrano was born in 1386. His education was thorough. His talents and success were great. When he was 26 he was made governor of Perugia. Imprisoned after a battle against the Malatestas, he resolved to change his way of life completely. At the age of 30 he entered the Franciscan novitiate and was ordained a priest four years later. </p><p>His preaching attracted great throngs at a time of religious apathy and confusion. He and 12 Franciscan brethren were received in the countries of central Europe as angels of God. They were instrumental in reviving a dying faith and devotion. </p><p>The Franciscan Order itself was in turmoil over the interpretation and observance of the Rule of St. Francis. Through John’s tireless efforts and his expertise in law, the heretical Fraticelli were suppressed and the "Spirituals" were freed from interference in their stricter observance. </p><p>He helped bring about a reunion with the Greek and Armenian Churches, unfortunately only a brief arrangement. </p><p>When the Turks captured Constantinople in 1453, he was commissioned to preach a crusade for the defense of Europe. Gaining little response in Bavaria and Austria, he decided to concentrate his efforts in Hungary. He led the army to Belgrade. Under the great General John Hunyadi, they gained an overwhelming victory, and the siege of Belgrade was lifted. Worn out by his superhuman efforts, Capistrano was an easy prey to an infection after the battle. He died October 23, 1456.</p> American Catholic Blog When we are linked by the power of prayer, we as it were, hold each other’s hand as we walk side by side along a slippery path; and thus by the bounteous disposition of charity, it comes about that the harder each one leans on the other, the more firmly we are riveted together in brotherly love. —St. Gregory the Great

 
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