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A Little More Mary, A Little Less Martha View Comments
by Susan Hines-Brigger

As I write this, I am surrounded by a basket of clothes that should be folded and put away, dishes that should be loaded into the dishwasher, floors that should be swept and a million and one other tasks to which I probably should be attending. Oh, and it’s almost dinnertime, too, so I should get busy preparing a meal. But instead, I’m sitting here typing out this column because I have a deadline looming. Not exactly the way I want to wrap up my weekend.

To add insult to injury, my five-year-old daughter, Riley, just came bounding into the room to ask me if I would like to play a game with her and her brother, Alex. I want to say yes, but I find myself saying no.

“I’m really busy,” I tell her, hoping she’ll understand. But the look on her face as she leaves the room tells me she doesn’t. I know the look. I’ve been seeing it a lot these days when I try to explain to my kids, my friends, my family that I’m too busy to spend time with them. Too often lately, I’ve found myself taking the role of Martha from the Bible (Luke 10:38-42).

A Biblical Case Study

The story of Martha and Mary is one that has always spoken to me as a woman, a wife, a mom and a sister. And it’s one with whose message I’ve struggled. The two women, as well as their brother, Lazarus, were friends of Jesus. In the passage, we hear how Mary and Martha invited Jesus into their home.

During his visit, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to him speak. Martha, however, took it upon herself to stay busy with all the household duties. Finally, totally exasperated and irritated, I imagine, she says to Jesus, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” (Oh, as a mom, how many times I have heard that line from my
children!)

Jesus’ answer? “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

Lessons to Learn

My friend Jenny often makes reference to that story. She does a good job of encouraging those around her to be a little more Mary and slightly less Martha in their lives. I’m not sure whether to be comforted or concerned that this many years after the Bible was written, we’re still trying to strike that balance. Martha apparently thought Mary had no business trying to be a disciple of Jesus. Eventually, St. Martha became exactly that.

Let’s be honest. It seems that these days we’re all busier than ever, working longer, running faster. And we’re all still struggling. How many moments have I missed simply by choosing to be busy with things that in the long run will turn out to be nothing more than busywork? Will my family remember the times they had matching socks in their drawer, or the times we played at the park?

Striking a Balance

Some of us are better at finding the balance than others. My husband, Mark, is one who seems to have mastered the challenge. I have not. Too many times household chores and work have taken precedence over things such as crafts, board games and snuggling up on the couch with my husband or one of my kids.

Am I suggesting that we dismiss the Martha roles in our lives? Of course not, just as I don’t think we should dismiss the importance of doing those things that we don’t always deem essential. So this month I challenge you to try to find your balance.

But don’t think I’m asking you to go it alone. Nope, I am giving my notice. For the foreseeable future, I will be devoting as much time to the Mary side of my life as to my Martha.

It may mean e-mails and phone calls will not be returned within five minutes—or the kids will have to find their own socks in the basket of laundry—or I will say no more often. But this mom is determined to find a way for work and play to coexist peacefully in my life and not cause me undue stress. I’m doing this not only because it’s good for me, but also for the sake of my family and friends.

To get started, tonight I’m going to choose the better part, ignore the mountains of laundry and spend time with my family. I hope you will join me in this new adventure. After all, that’s what Jesus would want us to do.

Take This and Eat

Just as Martha felt burdened by singlehandedly preparing the meal for Jesus, I also feel the pressures of meal preparation. Trying to find healthy, quick and tasty recipes to prepare for my family has left me looking for a better—and easier—way. Many times I have found myself lamenting to anyone who will listen that I am tired of making the same meals. Every time, friends and family have responded with their tried-and-true recipes. So now I’m reaching out to you, our readers. Send me your favorite recipes: Mail them, e-mail them or post them on our Facebook wall at www.Facebook.com/StAnthonyMessengerMagazine. Help this mom of four find a little more Mary time.

Do you have ideas or suggestions for topics you'd like to see addressed in this column? If so, send them to me at "A Catholic Mom Speaks," 28 W. Liberty Street, Cincinnati, OH 45202-6498, or e-mail them to CatholicMom@franciscanmedia.org.

Thank you for your comments. Editors will review all posts before they are visible on the website.

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Andrew Kim Taegon, Paul Chong Hasang and Companions: This first native Korean priest was the son of Korean converts. His father, Ignatius Kim, was martyred during the persecution of 1839 and was beatified in 1925. After Baptism at the age of 15, Andrew traveled 1,300 miles to the seminary in Macao, China. After six years he managed to return to his country through Manchuria. That same year he crossed the Yellow Sea to Shanghai and was ordained a priest. Back home again, he was assigned to arrange for more missionaries to enter by a water route that would elude the border patrol. He was arrested, tortured and finally beheaded at the Han River near Seoul, the capital. Paul Chong Hasang was a lay apostle and married man, aged 45. 
<p>Christianity came to Korea during the Japanese invasion in 1592 when some Koreans were baptized, probably by Christian Japanese soldiers. Evangelization was difficult because Korea refused all contact with the outside world except for bringing taxes to Beijing annually. On one of these occasions, around 1777, Christian literature obtained from Jesuits in China led educated Korean Christians to study. A home Church began. When a Chinese priest managed to enter secretly a dozen years later, he found 4,000 Catholics, none of whom had ever seen a priest. Seven years later there were 10,000 Catholics. Religious freedom came in 1883. </p><p>When Pope John Paul II visited Korea in 1984 he canonized, besides Andrew and Paul, 98 Koreans and three French missionaries who had been martyred between 1839 and 1867. Among them were bishops and priests, but for the most part they were lay persons: 47 women, 45 men. </p><p>Among the martyrs in 1839 was Columba Kim, an unmarried woman of 26. She was put in prison, pierced with hot tools and seared with burning coals. She and her sister Agnes were disrobed and kept for two days in a cell with condemned criminals, but were not molested. After Columba complained about the indignity, no more women were subjected to it. The two were beheaded. A boy of 13, Peter Ryou, had his flesh so badly torn that he could pull off pieces and throw them at the judges. He was killed by strangulation. Protase Chong, a 41-year-old noble, apostatized under torture and was freed. Later he came back, confessed his faith and was tortured to death. </p><p>Today, there are almost 5.1 million Catholics in Korea.</p> American Catholic Blog We never think of connecting violence with our tongues. But the first weapon, the most cruel weapon, is the tongue. Examine what part your tongue has played in creating peace or violence. We can really wound a person, we can kill a person, with our tongue.

 
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