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Making a List, Checking It Twice View Comments
by Susan Hines-Brigger

Very early on the day after Thanksgiving, many people mark the beginning of the Christmas season by heading to the stores to start their shopping. I, for one, will not be among them. Besides not liking crowds, in recent years I have also become more and more disheartened by what I feel is the over-commercialization of Christmas. In addition, I am troubled by the way people seem to throw their values out the door when it comes to gift-giving.

As parents, my husband, Mark, and I constantly struggle with trying to find a balance between our beliefs and pop culture. Never is this struggle more evident than during the holiday season. We’re competing with store ads, TV commercials for the latest and greatest toys or gadgets and the most difficult influence of all—our kids’ friends.
Rethinking the Season

A few years ago, completely exasperated and overwhelmed by what I felt was a lack of focus on the season’s meaning, I was ready to give up on Christmas altogether. Frankly, I was tired of spending the better part of the season searching out this year’s hottest toy, coming up with the perfect gift idea for each person on my list and making sure I spent just the right amount of money on everyone so as to avoid any hurt feelings. After coming to terms with the fact that opting out of the holiday altogether was not realistic, I decided that I was going to reclaim Christmas through the gifts I gave. No longer was I going to just run to the store, load up my cart and start checking people off my list. No, I was going to give gifts that let people truly know what they mean to me, that I care about them and, most important, what Christmas means to me.
Practice What You Preach

Here are some ideas to help you keep the message of the holidays alive for the people on your gift list:

Use your talents. Last year, my son, Alex, painted pictures for his aunts for Christmas. Both had admired his pictures that hang in our house and had commented on how much they would enjoy having one themselves. So Alex took the initiative and created two paintings that now hang prominently in his aunts’ homes.

Perhaps your talent is cooking. If so, gather some of your favorite recipes, along with some family favorites, into a cookbook.

Like to take pictures? Photograph your friends and family and present the photos in a nice frame.

Shop with your values in mind. It always surprises me how quickly parents seem to throw their beliefs out the door for the sake of fulfilling a gift request. If I don’t want my kids using certain language, then I shouldn’t buy them—or anyone else on my list—a CD that uses that language. Or if I talk to them about being a peacemaker, then it doesn’t make sense to buy a violent video game. The same goes for movies, books and clothing.

Emphasize your faith. Since Christmas is at its heart a religious holiday, it makes perfect sense to give gifts that emphasize that point. Try to shop for gifts that connect with your faith, such as a necklace bearing an icon of the person’s patron saint or a statue for his or her room. My favorite gift for little ones is the Fisher-Price Little People® Nativity Set.

Think of others. For years, my family selected at least one name from our parish’s giving tree. For the past few years, however, I have had our children each choose a name and take responsibility for shopping for that person. It’s a good opportunity for us to talk about those who are not as fortunate as we are and discuss our need to be charitable toward others.

The gift of you. Rather than spending money to buy something for people on your list, why not give them the gift of time? Plan a day or evening together doing something that you and that person or group of people enjoy. Or you can offer to babysit, run some errands or do some work around the house and yard.

For instance, if you’re handy, offer to take care of some projects for a friend. You could promise to do some snow shoveling or yardwork for them. Be creative and use your strengths. You can even create coupons to give for the various tasks you’re willing to do.
For Teens and Kids: The Christmas Challenge

One of the challenges of Christmas is how to afford presents for everyone on our list. But what if you didn’t have to spend any money at all? Think it can’t be done? I bet it can, and I challenge you to give it a try. In fact, some of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten were ones that didn’t cost a thing. Here are some suggestions for just a few gifts from the heart:

■ Write a letter telling people what they mean to you or what you love the most about them.
■ Create a small photo album of pictures of the two of you.
■ Make a CD of songs that mean something to both of you.
■ Spend a day together. This one might be especially nice for an elderly relative.
■ Use your computer to create a video featuring photos and music that hold meaning for the recipient. If you can, burn it to a DVD so it can be shared with others.

Do you have ideas or suggestions for topics you'd like to see addressed in this column? If so, send them to me at "A Catholic Mom Speaks," 28 W. Liberty Street, Cincinnati, OH 45202-6498, or e-mail them to CatholicMom@franciscanmedia.org.

Thank you for your comments. Editors will review all posts before they are visible on the website.

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Alphonsus Liguori: 
		<p>Moral theology, Vatican II said, should be more thoroughly nourished by Scripture, and show the nobility of the Christian vocation of the faithful and their obligation to bring forth fruit in charity for the life of the world. Alphonsus, declared patron of moral theologians by Pius XII in 1950, would rejoice in that statement.</p>
		<p>In his day, Alphonsus fought for the liberation of moral theology from the rigidity of Jansenism. His moral theology, which went through 60 editions in the century following him, concentrated on the practical and concrete problems of pastors and confessors. If a certain legalism and minimalism crept into moral theology, it should not be attributed to this model of moderation and gentleness.</p>
		<p>At the University of Naples he received, at the age of 16, a doctorate in both canon and civil law by acclamation, but he soon gave up the practice of law for apostolic activity. He was ordained a priest and concentrated his pastoral efforts on popular (parish) missions, hearing confessions, forming Christian groups. </p>
		<p>He founded the Redemptorist congregation in 1732. It was an association of priests and brothers living a common life, dedicated to the imitation of Christ, and working mainly in popular missions for peasants in rural areas. Almost as an omen of what was to come later, he found himself deserted, after a while, by all his original companions except one lay brother. But the congregation managed to survive and was formally approved 17 years later, though its troubles were not over. </p>
		<p>Alphonsus’ great pastoral reforms were in the pulpit and confessional—replacing the pompous oratory of the time with simplicity, and the rigorism of Jansenism with kindness. His great fame as a writer has somewhat eclipsed the fact that for 26 years he traveled up and down the Kingdom of Naples, preaching popular missions. </p>
		<p>He was made bishop (after trying to reject the honor) at 66 and at once instituted a thorough reform of his diocese. </p>
		<p>His greatest sorrow came toward the end of his life. The Redemptorists, precariously continuing after the suppression of the Jesuits in 1773, had difficulty in getting their Rule approved by the Kingdom of Naples. Alphonsus acceded to the condition that they possess no property in common, but a royal official, with the connivance of a high Redemptorist official, changed the Rule substantially. Alphonsus, old, crippled and with very bad sight, signed the document, unaware that he had been betrayed. The Redemptorists in the Papal States then put themselves under the pope, who withdrew those in Naples from the jurisdiction of Alphonsus. It was only after his death that the branches were united. </p>
		<p>At 71 he was afflicted with rheumatic pains which left incurable bending of his neck; until it was straightened a little, the pressure of his chin caused a raw wound on his chest. He suffered a final 18 months of “dark night” scruples, fears, temptations against every article of faith and every virtue, interspersed with intervals of light and relief, when ecstasies were frequent. </p>
		<p>Alphonsus is best known for his moral theology, but he also wrote well in the field of spiritual and dogmatic theology. His <i>Glories of Mary</i> is one of the great works on that subject, and his book <i>Visits to the Blessed Sacrament</i> went through 40 editions in his lifetime, greatly influencing the practice of this devotion in the Church.</p> American Catholic Blog Ultimately there is no friend who can fully understand us, who can walk with us all the way. We must go forward and walk on our own in response to who we are and who we are called to be in God. —Thomas Merton

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