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Making a List, Checking It Twice View Comments
by Susan Hines-Brigger

Very early on the day after Thanksgiving, many people mark the beginning of the Christmas season by heading to the stores to start their shopping. I, for one, will not be among them. Besides not liking crowds, in recent years I have also become more and more disheartened by what I feel is the over-commercialization of Christmas. In addition, I am troubled by the way people seem to throw their values out the door when it comes to gift-giving.

As parents, my husband, Mark, and I constantly struggle with trying to find a balance between our beliefs and pop culture. Never is this struggle more evident than during the holiday season. We’re competing with store ads, TV commercials for the latest and greatest toys or gadgets and the most difficult influence of all—our kids’ friends.
Rethinking the Season

A few years ago, completely exasperated and overwhelmed by what I felt was a lack of focus on the season’s meaning, I was ready to give up on Christmas altogether. Frankly, I was tired of spending the better part of the season searching out this year’s hottest toy, coming up with the perfect gift idea for each person on my list and making sure I spent just the right amount of money on everyone so as to avoid any hurt feelings. After coming to terms with the fact that opting out of the holiday altogether was not realistic, I decided that I was going to reclaim Christmas through the gifts I gave. No longer was I going to just run to the store, load up my cart and start checking people off my list. No, I was going to give gifts that let people truly know what they mean to me, that I care about them and, most important, what Christmas means to me.
Practice What You Preach

Here are some ideas to help you keep the message of the holidays alive for the people on your gift list:

Use your talents. Last year, my son, Alex, painted pictures for his aunts for Christmas. Both had admired his pictures that hang in our house and had commented on how much they would enjoy having one themselves. So Alex took the initiative and created two paintings that now hang prominently in his aunts’ homes.

Perhaps your talent is cooking. If so, gather some of your favorite recipes, along with some family favorites, into a cookbook.

Like to take pictures? Photograph your friends and family and present the photos in a nice frame.

Shop with your values in mind. It always surprises me how quickly parents seem to throw their beliefs out the door for the sake of fulfilling a gift request. If I don’t want my kids using certain language, then I shouldn’t buy them—or anyone else on my list—a CD that uses that language. Or if I talk to them about being a peacemaker, then it doesn’t make sense to buy a violent video game. The same goes for movies, books and clothing.

Emphasize your faith. Since Christmas is at its heart a religious holiday, it makes perfect sense to give gifts that emphasize that point. Try to shop for gifts that connect with your faith, such as a necklace bearing an icon of the person’s patron saint or a statue for his or her room. My favorite gift for little ones is the Fisher-Price Little People® Nativity Set.

Think of others. For years, my family selected at least one name from our parish’s giving tree. For the past few years, however, I have had our children each choose a name and take responsibility for shopping for that person. It’s a good opportunity for us to talk about those who are not as fortunate as we are and discuss our need to be charitable toward others.

The gift of you. Rather than spending money to buy something for people on your list, why not give them the gift of time? Plan a day or evening together doing something that you and that person or group of people enjoy. Or you can offer to babysit, run some errands or do some work around the house and yard.

For instance, if you’re handy, offer to take care of some projects for a friend. You could promise to do some snow shoveling or yardwork for them. Be creative and use your strengths. You can even create coupons to give for the various tasks you’re willing to do.
For Teens and Kids: The Christmas Challenge

One of the challenges of Christmas is how to afford presents for everyone on our list. But what if you didn’t have to spend any money at all? Think it can’t be done? I bet it can, and I challenge you to give it a try. In fact, some of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten were ones that didn’t cost a thing. Here are some suggestions for just a few gifts from the heart:

■ Write a letter telling people what they mean to you or what you love the most about them.
■ Create a small photo album of pictures of the two of you.
■ Make a CD of songs that mean something to both of you.
■ Spend a day together. This one might be especially nice for an elderly relative.
■ Use your computer to create a video featuring photos and music that hold meaning for the recipient. If you can, burn it to a DVD so it can be shared with others.

Do you have ideas or suggestions for topics you'd like to see addressed in this column? If so, send them to me at "A Catholic Mom Speaks," 28 W. Liberty Street, Cincinnati, OH 45202-6498, or e-mail them to CatholicMom@franciscanmedia.org.

Thank you for your comments. Editors will review all posts before they are visible on the website.

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Anthony Claret: The "spiritual father of Cuba" was a missionary, religious founder, social reformer, queen’s chaplain, writer and publisher, archbishop and refugee. He was a Spaniard whose work took him to the Canary Islands, Cuba, Madrid, Paris and to the First Vatican Council. 
<p>In his spare time as weaver and designer in the textile mills of Barcelona, he learned Latin and printing: The future priest and publisher was preparing. Ordained at 28, he was prevented by ill health from entering religious life as a Carthusian or as a Jesuit, but went on to become one of Spain’s most popular preachers. </p><p>He spent 10 years giving popular missions and retreats, always placing great emphasis on the Eucharist and devotion to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Her rosary, it was said, was never out of his hand. At 42, beginning with five young priests, he founded a religious institute of missionaries, known today as the Claretians. </p><p>He was appointed to head the much-neglected archdiocese of Santiago in Cuba. He began its reform by almost ceaseless preaching and hearing of confessions, and suffered bitter opposition mainly for opposing concubinage and giving instruction to black slaves. A hired assassin (whose release from prison Anthony had obtained) slashed open his face and wrist. Anthony succeeded in getting the would-be assassin’s death sentence commuted to a prison term. His solution for the misery of Cubans was family-owned farms producing a variety of foods for the family’s own needs and for the market. This invited the enmity of the vested interests who wanted everyone to work on a single cash crop—sugar. Besides all his religious writings are two books he wrote in Cuba: <i>Reflections on Agriculture</i> and <i>Country Delights</i>. </p><p>He was recalled to Spain for a job he did not relish—being chaplain for the queen. He went on three conditions: He would reside away from the palace, he would come only to hear the queen’s confession and instruct the children and he would be exempt from court functions. In the revolution of 1868, he fled with the queen’s party to Paris, where he preached to the Spanish colony. </p><p>All his life Anthony was interested in the Catholic press. He founded the Religious Publishing House, a major Catholic publishing venture in Spain, and wrote or published 200 books and pamphlets. </p><p>At Vatican I, where he was a staunch defender of the doctrine of infallibility, he won the admiration of his fellow bishops. Cardinal Gibbons of Baltimore remarked of him, "There goes a true saint." At the age of 63, he died in exile near the border of Spain.</p> American Catholic Blog The greatest tragedy of our world is that men do not know, really know, that God loves them. Some believe it in a shadowy sort of way. If they were to really think about it they would soon realize that their belief in God’s love for them is very remote and abstract. Because of this lack of realization of God’s love for them, men do not know how to love God back. —Catherine de Hueck Doherty

 
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