Conversation Corner
Family Corner (Loving Our Enemies --May 2003)

Love is a decision, not just a feeling. Discuss the difference between loving and liking someone.


Date: 6/4/2003 6:57:32 AM
Name or Pseudonym: Pat
Subject: Ray

Dear Ray

I honestly think there may be a language barrier here. I’m English, and I think most of the contributors are American, so maybe it’s our subtly different understandings of English that’s the problem. Ray, how do you "choose" to love your family? How do you "choose" to feel? The only member of my family I have left is my brother. I love him dearly. I made no choice. It just always was. Even when he deigned to play with me and insisted that I be the cowboy (we always wanted the Indians to win!). Even when we have fought bitterly. I always loved him. I always will love him. I love him during the times I don’t like him. I know he feels the same about me. There is nothing he could ever do which would make me stop loving him. I could never resent loving him! Never.

I fell in love with someone. I made no choice. If I’d been given the choice, I would have refused it. It just happened. My actions after it happened were my choice, but not my love.

I’m truly puzzled by this whole topic, and the title "Love is a decision..". I totally agree with your last sentence. We are born with the ability to love. Every day we do make decisions about whom we wish to share that love with.

To me, a choice is a conscious decision. If’s it’s an unconscious action, then it isn’t a choice, surely?

I hope I haven’t muddied the waters even further!

God bless

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