Date: 4/3/2003 1:29:19 AM
Name or Pseudonym: Leigh
Subject: you asked for it! *grin!*
I was saved when I was 15 (Im 18 now), Ive always been very close to God, but after the one thing I had in life was taken away and then I ended up with a life threatening disease, I prayed hard and I told God I just couldnt do it. I was so confused, I worked so hard for so long to make God happy and then it was all gone! I was angry and scared and I kept asking God what I did wrong. I knew I must have done something aweful and that maybe Hes trying to tell me to change something. I tryed so hard but I kept getting worse and I kept sinking deeper and deeper into depression from what I thought was from God ignoring me. I stopped praying and I avoided everyone I knew. Last November I had a spinal "happening" one night and was lying helpless on the floor for hours before I was heard. Ive never prayed so hard in my whole life! I was in such horrible pain I was screaming and shaking uncontrolably. I spent a while in the hospital and the whole time it seemed my three nurses never seemed to leave. My main nurse, Sedona (who had a last name that was very ironic) had this bizarre twinkle in her eyes and always did the right thing.
The first night in the hospital I was lulled to sleep by someone playing a violin, a song I surely havent heard before. It was so beautiful and then I realized who was playing it...my angel! I saw my angel! Id known this soul all my life and here was he/she in my dream. It was sad when my angel stopped playing, but he looked up at me and smilled the most comforting and understanding smile and told me not to worry and that everything would be fine. I then woke up and I couldnt stop smiling for days I DIDNT worry anymore. Sedona was the last person I saw when leaving the hospital. When I got home my Mom pulled out a shirt from the hospital bag that Id not seen and of course it said Sedona on it with a group of people standing in a circle holding hands with heads bowed....
So, there ya go...thats what keeps me going now. I know that was kinda lengthy, my apologies...
Anyways, peace & love all!