Dear Maria, I’m very sad that you feel this way after 20years. At the time you had the abortion you must have been under pressure or felt it was the best way to deal with the problem. God knows what you were going through at that moment and what you have been going through for 20 years. I’m pretty sure you are sorry and God knows this too. Once we have confessed our sins to God through the priest through the Sacrament of reconciliation God immediatly forgives us and remembers our sins no more. All that is left is that you must accept his forgiveness and ask God to give you the grace to forgive yourself. The church does not reject or condem you, we love you because you are a child of God and because no one can judge you since we all are sinners!I would like you to read these passages from the bible on the truth of God’s Forgiveness: 1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.", Psalm 103:12 -
"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us",
Also read Romans 8:1-2, Micah7:18-19, Isaiah 1:18, 1 Peter 1:18-19, and read the gosples in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, how Jesus healed the sick and also forgave sinners!, how God our Merciful, loving father sent his only son Jesus to die on a cross for us, to pay for ALL of our sins, so we could be forgiven of ALL of our sins and have healing of All of our sickness and sorrows and have eternal life with our loving, Merciful, caring, compassionate Father!
God Bless you, I’ll pray for you, that you will forgive yourself, as God has already!, the minute you repented. Tell your children and offer up a mass for you unborn child.When in prayer close your eyes and invite Jesus to that memory, now visualise yourself with the child who is prefect give it a name and ask Jesus and Mary to take care of Him/Her and Know and trust that your child is in their hands for safe keeping.
Your sister in Christ, Carmen.