Date: 8/20/2002 11:12:28 AM
Name or Pseudonym: Teri
Subject: How Do I Quiet Myself in Times of Great Disturbance?
Im working on it! I am 53 years old, mother of two grown children and grandmother of a beautiful little 2 1/2 year old boy. I have been married for 34 years.
My life seems to have been one of continual "action", with little time left for me to take time and reflect. Great Disturbance is basically what I have had to live with for a long, long time. Not all bad disturbance - just hectic - unexpected events, a husband who is in perpetual motion (he cannot "rest") and expectations heaped on me.
Im not really complaining - I view this as my role but sometimes I do feel disturbed at not having time for myself. I regard this time for myself as my opportunity to rest and reflect and pray. (Not a Me Me Me time - what I am missing is I guess, the permission to have time to be alone with Jesus and to be able to just sit and listen for the whisper.
So lately, I have been making a concerted effort to take and make time. I try to get to Mass early so I can just sit in the quiet of the Church. I try to go outside in the evening and watch the sky - look at the stars and wonder.
Since Spencer (my grandson) has come into our lives, I find that just watching him offers me the opportunity to put aside anything that is bothering me or disturbing me. I volunteer to babysit as often as I can so I can be near him and reflect on the impact he has on me and my husband and of course our daughter and son-in-law. How little children are so special and how we must be special to God, as his children. This seems to help me get over the disturbance and the feelings of being overwhelmed that I often have.
One thing I have found though, no matter what is bothering me at any given time, I find the answer either on this website, or in the words of the Homily my Priest gives. It never fails to amaze me how often this happens. One Sunday, I commented on this to our Pastor. He said that he hadnt really planned on giving the Homily he had, but that during the readings, something just happened that made him change what he was going to speak on!
So I guess what I am saying is that the answers are always there, I just have to push myself to stop and listen.