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ON FAITH & MEDIA View Comments

Parental Guidance

By
Kurt Jensen
Source: Catholic News Service


Billy Crystal, Kyle Harrison Breitkopf and Joshua Rush star in a scene from the movie "Parental Guidance."
Though it means well, "Parental Guidance" (Fox) suffers from an excess of potty humor.

Granted, they're family-style potty gags, and every parent of a young child has probably experienced similar incidents to what is portrayed. It's just that such humor is a sign of desperation; it means the filmmakers have no better ideas.

One of the very few performers to handle such material successfully was the late Bernie Mac in his eponymous sitcom. It worked there because first of all, it was a half-hour program, and second, because children out of control in any way made Mac's character affect wounded dignity, do a slow burn or erupt in anger, and he had talented writers and versatile ways of putting this across.

Nothing of the kind here, alas. Director Andy Fickman and screenwriters Lisa Addario and Joe Syracuse, working from an idea of Billy Crystal's (who stars), produce some very stale and predictable ideas in this slow-moving story of grandparents who try to connect with grandchildren they've almost never seen.

Crystal is Artie Decker, who has longed to become a big-league radio announcer but has only gotten as far as calling games for the Fresno Grizzlies, the Triple-A farm team of the San Francisco Giants. For 35 years, he's wanted to work for the Giants, but loses his Fresno job when the team owner decides he's old-fashioned and attracts only older listeners.

At the same time, his daughter, Alice (Marisa Tomei), and son-in-law, Phil (Tom Everett Scott), who live overscheduled lives in Atlanta, have a chance to reconnect romantically on a weeklong sales conference in Hilton Head, S.C., for the "smart homes" Phil designs.

His parents are on a cruise. That means calling in "the other grandparents" -- Artie and Diane (Bette Midler) -- to take care of grandchildren they've not seen in years.

The children are wary of these earthy grandparents and have issues of their own. Aspiring violinist Harper (Bailee Madison), 12, is uncertain whether music is her life's goal; 9-year-old Turner (Joshua Rush) stutters and is bullied in school, and 5-year-old Barker (Kyle Harrison Breitkopf) has an imaginary kangaroo friend named Carl, who makes all his decisions for him.

There's a running gag involving a rude rhyme with Artie's name, and Breitkopf is assigned all the scenes involving scatological matters.

Political incorrectness ensues. Artie can't understand why all Turner's baseball games end in ties and kids stay at the plate until they get a hit, while Diane, a former TV weather girl, enjoys playing an aggressive stage mother to Harper. Barker confuses everyone and nearly stops a performance of the Atlanta Symphony, and Artie unsuccessfully auditions for a job announcing the X Games on ESPN.

Grandparental attention, even the clumsy kind, eventually helps all the children overcome their problems. Special use is made of a recording of the broadcast of Bobby Thomson's dramatic ninth-inning home run that captured the 1951 National League pennant for the then-New York Giants.

The film contains childish scatological humor. The Catholic News Service classification is A-I -- general patronage. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested.

*****
Kurt Jensen is a guest reviewer for Catholic News Service.



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Cyril and Methodius: Because their father was an officer in a part of Greece inhabited by many Slavs, these two Greek brothers ultimately became missionaries, teachers and patrons of the Slavic peoples. 
<p>After a brilliant course of studies, Cyril (called Constantine until he became a monk shortly before his death) refused the governorship of a district such as his brother had accepted among the Slavic-speaking population. Cyril withdrew to a monastery where his brother Methodius had become a monk after some years in a governmental post. </p><p>A decisive change in their lives occurred when the Duke of Moravia (present-day Czech Republic) asked the Eastern Emperor Michael for political independence from German rule and ecclesiastical autonomy (having their own clergy and liturgy). Cyril and Methodius undertook the missionary task. </p><p>Cyril’s first work was to invent an alphabet, still used in some Eastern liturgies. His followers probably formed the Cyrillic alphabet (for example, modern Russian) from Greek capital letters. Together they translated the Gospels, the psalter, Paul’s letters and the liturgical books into Slavonic, and composed a Slavonic liturgy, highly irregular then. </p><p>That and their free use of the vernacular in preaching led to opposition from the German clergy. The bishop refused to consecrate Slavic bishops and priests, and Cyril was forced to appeal to Rome. On the visit to Rome, he and Methodius had the joy of seeing their new liturgy approved by Pope Adrian II. Cyril, long an invalid, died in Rome 50 days after taking the monastic habit. </p><p>Methodius continued mission work for 16 more years. He was papal legate for all the Slavic peoples, consecrated a bishop and then given an ancient see (now in the Czech Republic). When much of their former territory was removed from their jurisdiction, the Bavarian bishops retaliated with a violent storm of accusation against Methodius. As a result, Emperor Louis the German exiled Methodius for three years. Pope John VIII secured his release. </p><p>Because the Frankish clergy, still smarting, continued their accusations, Methodius had to go to Rome to defend himself against charges of heresy and uphold his use of the Slavonic liturgy. He was again vindicated. </p><p>Legend has it that in a feverish period of activity, Methodius translated the whole Bible into Slavonic in eight months. He died on Tuesday of Holy Week, surrounded by his disciples, in his cathedral church. </p><p>Opposition continued after his death, and the work of the brothers in Moravia was brought to an end and their disciples scattered. But the expulsions had the beneficial effect of spreading the spiritual, liturgical and cultural work of the brothers to Bulgaria, Bohemia and southern Poland. Patrons of Moravia, and specially venerated by Catholic Czechs, Slovaks, Croatians, Orthodox Serbians and Bulgarians, Cyril and Methodius are eminently fitted to guard the long-desired unity of East and West. In 1980, Pope John Paul II named them additional co-patrons of Europe (with Benedict).</p> American Catholic Blog This is the beauty of self-giving love: Men and women, driven by love, freely choose to give up their autonomy, to limit their freedom, by committing themselves to the good of the spouse. Love is so powerful that it impels them to want to surrender their will to their beloved in this profound way.

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