by Friar Jim Van Vurst, O.F.M.

Q U I C K S C A N

How is marriage a “social” sacrament?
What is the Church’s definition of the Sacrament of Matrimony?
What are the aspects of this lifelong covenant?
When is a marriage considered valid?

Readers reflect on Friar Jack’s musings

How is marriage a “social” sacrament?

We come now to one of the two sacraments that are called “social” sacraments: Matrimony. The other one is Ordination. These sacraments are “social” in that, in addition to having an effect on the Church, they have an impact on society outside of the Church.

What is the Church’s definition of the Sacrament of Matrimony?

Following is the Church’s official definition of the Sacrament of Matrimony: is this: “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of the offspring; this covenant between baptized persons (two Catholics or one Catholic and one baptized Protestant) has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament” (CCC, # 1601).

What are the aspects of this lifelong covenant?

Within this definition we learn the true meaning of the life two people agree to undertake when making their marriage vows. However, many Catholics may not fully understand about this most serious contract and its implications.

a) “It is a covenant between a man and a woman.”
A covenant is a sacred contract with great religious importance. It means that God is intimately involved in the union of marriage and, through this sacrament, provides the graces necessary to deal with the problems and struggles of marriage. It is also between a “man and woman,” which is why the Church says that it is not possible for gay individuals to validly contract marriage between themselves.

b) “It establishes between them a partnership.”
The “partnership” aspect of marriage is obviously an important part of the couple’s life together. Neither person should think he or she is dominant over the other, even though each will have gifts and talents the other does not. In fact, leadership in a marriage may move from one partner to the other times because of circumstances that may occur such as sickness or loss of a job. If we keep in mind that each person is created equal in the image and likeness of God, husband and wife will recognize the equality of the other. The marriage vows are the same for both.

c) Marriage is a “partnership of the whole of life.”
This is a lifelong contract. The vows state, “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health…until death do us part.” It is expected that every marriage will go through very difficult and trying times which demand great sacrifice. Some marriages are made in heaven; most are not. That is the reason why the Church requires couples to take time in their preparation, usually six months. This includes not only filling out papers but also pre-Cana classes and some personality testing so a couple has a chance to explore the differences they have in personalities and in their outlooks on life. During that time, a couple may realize that the differences and potential problems are so great that they decide to wait or not get married.

Keep in mind that this is the most important contract any two people can make. Unfortunately in our society, some people will spend months looking for a house, seeking all kinds of advice along with inspections, but will marry after a brief courtship and prepare only for the wedding day itself—not the commitment of married life. The Church encourages couples to take their time and be aware of the life they are about to enter. Marriage has serious consequences.

d) Marriage is “ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of the offspring.”
The spouses not only give themselves to each other but also receive the other. In doing so the needs of each spouse are to be met and fulfilled as much as reasonably possible. This includes their mutual support, personal interests and their sexual lives together. Marriage is ordained for the giving of life to offspring and for guiding them and providing the growth to adulthood. How important are these goals or ends? Well, if a man or woman made the intention of “no children or no sexual life,” it would not be possible for him or her to actually make a marriage contract. One or both of the very purposes of marriage would be missing and both are essential for the contract.

When is a marriage considered valid?

Some people mistakenly believe that only Catholic marriages are valid in the eyes of the Church. Not true. All marriages between people who are free to marry are valid as long as neither spouse had been married before without having obtained an annulment. Catholics, of course, must be married before a priest with proper delegation. But it is significant that the bride and groom confer the sacrament upon each other; the priest is there only as the official witness of the Church and the state

Friar Jack’s Inbox

Readers respond to Friar Jack’s musings on “Anthony of Padua: Super-preacher of God’s Word”

Dear Friar Jack: It’s been a blessing to have encountered this Catholic Web site and received your newsletter. Thank you for sharing part of the life of St. Anthony. It is reassuring and helpful to know that God has sent such a messenger to show us our way towards his holy self. God bless you and looking forward to hearing from you through your newsletters. Karen

Dear Friar Jack: I was very pleased to read your contribution on my special saint, Anthony of Padua. I am a convert and I attribute my coming to Christ to this wonderful saint. He is truly a beacon to people everywhere, both Catholic and non-Catholics. R.

Dear Karen and R.: Thank you for your words of praise regarding St. Anthony. He is a wonderful saint who leads us into closer union with God. My prayer for you and all the readers of my E-spiration is this: May St. Anthony help you find a deeper and more wonderful union with God! Friar Jack

Dear Friar Jack: I pray to St. Anthony to help me find a husband. I have been through two divorces and two annulments and if it is God’s will, I will find a good Catholic man to marry. Is it wrong to do this? I know God’s actions are often not understood and we must accept those actions on faith. I pray for St. Anthony’s intercession that my Catholic faith may be shared and brought to a deeper level with a man to share my life with and a marriage that will be like the love Christ shows for his Church. Still searching, J.

Dear J.: You pray for a good thing. With you I ask that our brother Anthony, known for his matchmaking gifts, may bring peace and healing to your heart and lead you to a marriage partner who will answer what your heart is seeking. Friar Jack

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