by Friar Jim Van Vurst, O.F.M.

Q U I C K S C A N

What are the elements of the Sacrament of Reconciliation?
Should we worry about past sins ?

Readers reflect on Friar Jack’s musings

What are the elements of the Sacrament of Reconciliation?

A story is told of a teacher asking her religion class what the most important thing about Confession is. One said: “It’s confessing your sins.” Another said, “It’s being sorry for your sins.” And still another said, “It’s saying your penance afterwards.” And finally a young girl said with confidence, “It’s the forgiveness of God.” She had it right. Obviously the other answers were also true, but in the end, the sacrament is centered around receiving the forgiveness of sin. Did you ever think that “forgiving sin is what God loves to do most of all?”

How we approach the reception of God’s mercy is important. We are God’s children. We come to the Father to ask his forgiveness through the mercy of Jesus given by the ordained priest. It’s not just ritual. It is life.

The steps are really very simple.

a) Examination of conscience. This is never supposed to be a torture session. Actually, our consciences will bring to mind any serious sins we have committed. Even people who have been away from the confessional for many years, even decades, find it doesn’t take long to recall the sins that are truly serious. Keep in mind that God knows the whole past in every detail anyway. We make an honest effort to know ourselves and our failings. But, again, it’s God’s mercy that is most important.

b) Sorrow for sin. If we are serious about going to Confession, sorrow comes almost automatically. After all, we are admitting we are sinners right up front. That truthful admission brings sorrow. But please don’t confuse sorrow with emotions or feelings. You may still struggle with feelings of resentment and yet tell God you are sorry for the time you were angry with another person. Sorrow is in the heart (not feelings) and in the will.

c) Confession of sin. Confess your sins as simply and as honestly as you can. It is easy to link sin with a commandment: missing Mass (3rd), anger (5th), impurity (6th/9th). There is no need for great details, nor is the priest interested in detail. If you need help, don’t hesitate to ask the priest for assistance.

d) Listen to the words of the priest as he tries to guide you and remind you of God’s love for you. Receive the penance he gives you.

e) Make an act of contrition. It can be very short: “O, God, I am sorry for all my sins, now and in the past, and I will try with all my heart not to sin again.”

f) Leave the confessional and thank God for his forgiveness and pray the prayers the priest gave you for a penance.

Should we worry about past sins?

Now, a very important point. When God forgives sin through the absolution of the priest, he forgives ALL our sins, including those we cannot remember. After all, we are sincerely sorry for all our sins. Otherwise, why go to the Lord for forgiveness? If you later remember something you forgot, dismiss it from your mind. It is gone forever and the Lord wants you to trust his mercy, put the past aside and the live each new day in his love, one day at a time. What happens when we spend too much time on the past, making sure we got it all, is that we become self-centered. And let’s face it: We will never get it all. Confession is much more about trust than exact numbers and detail.

Finally, people wonder how often should we receive this sacrament. It is required only for serious or mortal sin, but the sacrament is a gift and it is good to present ourselves to the Lord even when we have nothing serious to confess. I suggest four times a year: during Advent in preparation for Christmas; during Lent in preparation for Easter; if possible sometime around your birthday; and if married, sometime around your wedding anniversary. For me, it would be around my ordination date. Our birth and our vocation will remind us of our obligations received with the gift of life and of our responsibilities in our life’s vocation.

As difficult as this sacrament may sometimes be, isn’t it a good feeling when we leave the Church following Confession with a smile on our face?

Friar Jack’s Inbox

Readers respond to Friar Jack’s musings on “Trusting God in the Desert: A Lenten Meditation.”

Dear Friar Jack: I just read your article on trust and it is really funny because a friend and I were discussing this very topic last evening. We know that we should trust in God completely but find it difficult to do so. I think it all has to do with control; we like to control all situations. However, when we trust we learn to give up that control and trust others. It’s like winter driving conditions. I pray for my adult kids’ safety (which is fine by itself), but I know deep down that they are good drivers and I have to learn to trust their driving abilities. I think it’s something that we have to really work on. I know I do. It is really something to strive for this Lenten season. Carol

Dear Friar Jack: I just wanted to write and tell you how wonderful and how powerful the message of your most recent Friar Jack's E-spiration is. I have been Catholic for 26 years and trusting God, I am sorry to say, has always been a great difficulty for me. I love God very, very much, but I am afraid I have been like the Israelites in that I have been “lost in the desert” many times and wondering where he is and have tried to test him many, many times. In fact, there have been some times when I have wondered if he is even tired of me and my questions. Your article has given me insight on how to trust him. I just wanted to thank you. You are a brilliant author and you make the words of the Bible and our Lord so clear and alive and easier for someone like me to comprehend. I thank you. Louann

Dear Friar Jack: Thank you for your insight on trust. I teach Scripture to prisoners and have for 23 years. This is a theme that I often, with God's grace, carry to them. They so often do trust totally and have the most profound conversions. It is like being on Mt. Tabor to watch what God does in their lives. Thank you again for your work. Sincerely, Mary

Dear Readers: The above are three of the many e-mails I received in response to my last musing, “Trusting God in the Desert: A Lenten Meditation.” I am very grateful for your supportive words and your willingness to share your own experiences and challenges in maintaining trust in God. I want to to take this occasion to thanks all of your for the e-mails you sent. I assure you that I personally read all the e-mails I receive and pray for your intentions, though it is impossible to answer every email personally. May the gracious God give us all the gift of trust. Friar Jack

Dear Friar Jack: Enjoyed your article. I would love to see something on trust vs. presumption. I believe it can be very easy to slip from trust to presumption and not even realize one is doing that. A priest I know says it is one of the greatest sins of our times. Would you please give some help with this issue? Thanks. Happy Lent! A Reader

Dear Reader: In my next E-spiration, I will try to share some thoughts on the topic you propose, trust vs. presumption. Thanks for the suggestion! Friar Jack

Send your feedback to friarjack@americancatholic.org.

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