In Forgiving,
We Die to Self

Q U I C K S C A N

Did God really want Jesus to die on the cross?
A suggestion for Lent
Closing prayer

When you or I forgive someone, we die (to our own egos or selves) so that the other can live—and a wounded relationship can be healed. Forgiveness requires a total gift of self for the benefit of the other, not unlike Jesus' death on Good Friday. We die to self (to our desire for justice or fair play and to our raw instinct to return evil for evil) so that the offending person can be set free and hopefully move toward reconciliation. In the process we, too, are set free and rise to a more compassionate level of being.

The purpose of Jesus' coming to this earth was to bring God's love and forgiveness to humanity that we might enjoy fullness of life. The motive of course was love—God's loving care for us that we might come to full life and development as human beings created in God's image. As in the case of our own acts of forgiving others, God's love and forgiveness require a kind of dying or self-emptying on God's part—a leaving the divine glory behind and humbly taking the form of a slave (see Philippians 2:6-8) so that we creatures might be set free to embrace that wonderful life-giving relationship with God intended from the beginning.

Did God really want Jesus to die on the cross?

We Christians focus on Jesus' death and resurrection as the key moment at which the sins of humanity are forgiven and atoned for. We are wise, however, to explore this a little more fully and to take a very careful look at the idea of atonement that is a familiar part of our Christian tradition. To picture God as wishing or planning Jesus' horrific death and crucifixion as the atonement required by our sins is really not the best way to portray God. In fact, such a picture is rather blasphemous. It was not God but the enemies of God that caused Jesus to suffer. Jesus' crucifixion was not orchestrated by God's will, but by human beings acting in direct contradiction to God's will and message of love.

It seems to me more helpful to see the forgiveness of our sins as flowing from Jesus' willingness to empty and humble himself in an act of total self-giving. This is similar to the dying to self that even you and I must undergo if we wish to forgive someone who has injured us.

And this act of self-giving on the part of Jesus did not start with the cross. The willingness of Christ, the Word of God, to enter this world in human form and set out on a mission of mercy and forgiveness was already, before time began, a dramatic act of total self-giving. The same kind of selfless giving became evident as well during his public life, as he carried out his mission of healing and of proclaiming the Good News of God's saving love and mercy. This constant and total giving of self on the part of Jesus reached its culmination, of course, when he handed over his life on the cross. But a spirit of all-out giving and forgiving was present in Jesus all along—and continues today in every Eucharist.

Jesus died, not because God willed or demanded the death penalty for Jesus, but because of the jealousy, hatred, selfishness and cowardice of sinful humans. Jesus was not on a suicide mission; He loved his life and prayed that he might be spared the terrible cup of suffering and death, as we all should do. Then what exactly did God will in Jesus' regard? What I believe God willed was that Jesus be a totally loving and generous human being—a model for humanity—a person who would commit all his energies and love to the service of others, no matter what the cost. Unfortunately, sinful humans, acting against God's commandments of love, destroyed this most innocent and selfless servant of God and humanity. In an unjust, sin-ridden world, such a fate has typically fallen upon God's greatest prophets.

A suggestion for Lent

Ash Wednesday is just around the corner. The season of Lent is a good time to reflect on the totality of Jesus' love. "Greater love than this no one has than to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). It's a good time to consider how he emptied himself and handed himself over that we might be forgiven and turn back to him as our source of life and example. My prayers and best wishes go out to each of you as you prepare to enter this Lenten season!

Closing prayer

"Lord Jesus, you are our model for forgiving others. You courageously lived your own teachings--doing good to those who hated you and blessing those who cursed you. Your love was so pure and high-minded that you sought only to build up and serve the life of your neighbor, no matter what harm was inflicted upon you. Your style of living revealed the purest face of love, for when you forgave, you sought no advantage for yourself, only your neighbor's highest good! Teach us this kind of self-giving love. Amen."

[This prayer is taken from Friar Jack's book, A Retreat With Pope John Paul II: Be Not Afraid, from "Day Six: Forgiving and Asking for Forgiveness." The Pope's Jubilee Day of Pardon, covered in that chapter, took place on the first Sunday of Lent, March 12, 2000.]

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