Like so many other parish ministries, I never appreciated the ministry to the sick and shut-ins until my family needed it. Through the last years of my Dad’s life, his parish was there for him. Parishioners not only brought the sacraments, but also drove him to doctor’s visits, kept him up with parish news and made him feel a part of the church he had served so well for over 50 years.

Patti Normile has written a wonderful book for those who minister to the sick. It is appropriately called Visiting the Sick: A Guide for Parish Ministers. While the book was written primarily for hospital visits, it also provides practical help for home visits. A chapter on preparing for pastoral visits includes basics on determining the reason for the visit (Normile suggests there are usually several reasons) and getting in touch with exactly how “you” are before your visit. She also explains the five stages of loss and grief.

In following chapters she discusses the visit itself and addresses issues such as assessing the mood of the patient, deciding what to talk about, hearing with your heart, reading body language, talking about faith and handling the question, “Why me?” There is a special chapter on visiting homes and nursing homes. Normile also offers dozens of prayers for blessing both the sick and caregivers. In fact, she has an entire chapter on caring for caregivers. (Click here to read this chapter.)

The book is an excellent resource if you are planning a workshop for those who are ministering to the sick. It also makes a great gift and reference book for those already involved in the ministry.

Weeks later, when her son was home from the hospital and well on his way to recovery, she thanked me for the holy water. She told me that in the days that followed her son’s accident, the holy water helped her feel less powerless. She had something to do. She had been praying, of course, from her first moments at the hospital. But somehow the ritual of signing her son, seeing the water on his forehead and feeling the water on her thumb made her prayers seem more real to her.

This is one of the reasons we Catholics are so fond of our sacramentals. We recognize the human person’s need for visible signs of invisible things. We use blessed water to remind us of the promises made at Baptism. We are God’s children, called to wholeness in Jesus. We make the Sign of the Cross to remind ourselves that Jesus lived, died and rose from the dead to bring us that wholeness. Who better to bless a sick or injured child and ask for healing and wholeness than that child’s parent?

Consider inviting parish families to have a special gathering to pray for the sick. You can adapt the prayer service from The Blessing Candles by Gaynell Bordes Cronin and Jack Rathschmidt, O.F.M. Cap. (Click here to see the prayer service.)

Begin the gathering by having small groups of peers (adults with adults, children with children, etc.) talk about experiences with illness and injury and make a list of the feelings they had when they were sick or when they were with someone who was sick. Bring lists together and put them on newsprint. Ask folks what they most need when they are sick, and help participants see that different people need different things. Some people want to be left alone, and others need lots of attention. Discuss the importance of not assuming “everyone is like me” and the necessity of asking people what they need.

Take time to make cards for the sick and shut-ins in your parish. Make sure at some time during the gathering to give each household a small bottle of holy water with a simple blessing for the sick to take home with them. Explain the importance of sacramentals in our lives as Catholics.

One of the experiences that tax our abilities to cope is when we or loved ones are facing illness or impending death. I see this in my own family as my mother-in-law and father-in-law continue on distinct but intertwined downward spirals of health problems. My mother-in-law has battled multiple sclerosis for 27 of her 63 years, with nearly 20 of those years spent in a wheelchair. My father-in-law suffers from the effects of smoking cigarettes for most of his life. He requires oxygen and is winded by the most simple of everyday tasks.

From the day of Mary’s diagnosis, the family has known that a nursing home was a future reality for her. But for some family members, her admittance to a nursing home would be their admission of failure to care well enough for their mother. (Chronic illness can do terrible things to families.) That day came just six weeks ago after Mary had been hospitalized for a pressure sore. She required a nursing home stay for rehab after surgery on the sore. The family made the decision that, taking all other factors into consideration, the nursing home was where she would receive the best care for the long term and that she would stay there after the rehab period.

We have definitely been walking through a period of passion and death. The pain, sorrow and grief over this transition has been significant. As a person of hope, a person who tries to live in service of the Kingdom, a member of the Easter people as well as a member of this family for whom I care deeply, I pray that each member, especially Mary, will rise on the other side of this sorrow and mourning to see the benefits and good that can come from this new living and care arrangement. Ironically, Mary’s 63rd birthday is on Easter Sunday this year. I pray especially that she know Easter joy now and someday eternally.

Whether it’s a transition of housing and care because of illness or getting one’s life and relationships in order because of approaching death, the paschal mystery offers us both comfort and promise that our earthly struggles are worth the pain and suffering we may endure. A video resource that can help you in your work with those who are dying or facing the loss of a loved one is the Catholic Update Video Caring With Faith: Toward Death With Hope. I’ve selected a clip to share with you. It’s from the story segment about a hospice nurse on her rounds to visit three terminally ill patients (RealMedia | Windows Media).

I wish you all a most blessed Holy Week and Easter!

Be Comforted: Healing in Times of Loss, Anger, Anxiety, Loneliness, Sickness and Death by Gloria Hutchinson offers a storehouse of stories, Scripture and spiritual encouragement to ease the burden of all kinds of suffering. Here’s a sample of her chapter “Be Comforted in Your Loss.”

Msgr. Peter Magee’s God’s Mercy Revealed: Healing for a Broken World explores the vast reality of God’s merciful action in our lives, broken as they may be. Here’s a sample chapter focusing on the liberating power of God’s forgiveness in our lives.

In the later years of his papacy, John Paul II canonized St. Faustina Kowalska, the untiring proponent of the Divine Mercy devotion, and simultaneously established the Feast of Divine Mercy (observed on the Sunday following Easter). Fr. John Hampsch's The Awesome Mercy of God takes us on an extended reflection on God’s Mercy and how it impacts our lives, no matter what our situation.  Here is a sample chapter in which Fr. Hampsch explores how we can escape the prison of guilt by accepting the gift of God’s vast mercy.