AmericanCatholic.org
 
Skip Navigation Links
Home
Catholic News
Saints
Seasonal
Special Reports
Movies
Shopping
Donate
Share:
Facebook
Twitter
Google Plus
LinkedIn
Email
RSS Feeds

advertisement
opinion/commentary View Comments

Stop the Bullying
By Susan Hines-Brigger
Source: St. Anthony Messenger
Published: Thursday, January 6, 2011
Click here to email! Email | Click here to print! Print | Size: A A |  
 
In the past year, I have heard story after story—in the news, from friends and families and even at my own dinner table—about kids being bullied. It’s rampant. It’s everywhere. As we’ve unfortunately witnessed time and time again, it can be deadly.

And it needs to stop.

I know, I know. Bullying has gone on for years. I’m sure most of us can recount a story of it from our youth. There are even debates as to whether the media are jumping on the recent rash of suicides brought on by bullying and overblowing the concept of kids being “bullied to death.”

But things are different now. And, on the off-chance that things aren’t being overblown, I’m going to say something. The explosion of instant communication—cell phones, the Internet and the whole world of social media—has opened up a whole new arena in which bullies can play.

Regardless if it’s being overly hyped or not, Tyler Clementi, Phoebe Prince, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg and many other young people obviously thought what was happening to them was bad enough to make them take their own lives.

Some of the earliest lessons we parents try to teach our kids are to play nice, be kind to others and use manners. So where do things get off course?

Most parenting experts will say that you can tell kids things till you’re blue in the face. What will most likely stick with them, though, is not what you say, but what you show them through your own actions.

Rachel Simmons, cofounder of the Girls Leadership Institute and author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl, has been studying bullying, writing about it and working with schools and families around the country for over a decade.

In the article “The Nine Most Common Myths About Bullying” posted on www.Newsweek.com, Simmons says, “In fact, it’s parents who can be the biggest bullies of all....Parents replicate the same nerve-racking hierarchies they are so quick to condemn on the playground. They exclude children and parents from parties, playdates and coffee, or publicly gossip about other people’s children. Until parents hold themselves to the same standards we impose on our kids, real change will be impossible.”

She’s right. We parents are guilty of contributing to this problem every time we fail to speak up, pass on the latest gossip, degrade others when they fail to see things our way or pass uninformed judgments. We do it in our homes, at work, on the playing fields, in schools and even in our church—all in plain sight of our kids. We rattle off catchphrases like “What would Jesus do?” and then fail to do it.

In the case of Phoebe Prince, the district attorney said teachers witnessed Phoebe being bullied, but said nothing until after her death.

In 2006, Megan Meier committed suicide by hanging herself three weeks before her 14th birthday. Lori Drew, the mother of one of Megan’s friends with whom she had a fallingout, was later charged for her involvement in the cyberbullying of Meier.

We love our kids. That is why we, as parents, need to step up and take action. That action begins with each one of us.

What can we do? Rachel Simmons says she wishes “more adults would come clean and level with kids about their own past. Doing this opens a channel of honest communication between youth and adults, instead of making kids feel like they are doing something no one has ever done before. If we don’t model self-reflection, how can we expect kids to do the same?”

Surely, our kids know that we love them just the way they are no matter what happens, right? On the offchance that they may be feeling uncertain about things, let them know you’re there. Tell them and then tell them again.

My colleague Christopher Heffron blogged about this very subject at http://blog.americancatholic.org/2010/11/02/still-a-child-of-god-2. Read it.

Finally, set the example you want kids to follow.

All parents I know would do anything for their kids. So as a mom I’m asking you, begging you—parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles—please do your part to help stop the bullying. And remember, our kids are watching.


More Catholic Community Speaks
blog comments powered by Disqus


Mary: Pius XII established this feast in 1954. But Mary’s queenship has roots in Scripture. At the Annunciation, Gabriel announced that Mary’s Son would receive the throne of David and rule forever. At the Visitation, Elizabeth calls Mary “mother of my Lord.” As in all the mysteries of Mary’s life, Mary is closely associated with Jesus: Her queenship is a share in Jesus’ kingship. We can also recall that in the Old Testament the mother of the king has great influence in court. 
<p>In the fourth century St. Ephrem (June 9)  called Mary “Lady” and “Queen.” Later Church fathers and doctors continued to use the title. Hymns of the 11th to 13th centuries address Mary as queen: “Hail, Holy Queen,” “Hail, Queen of Heaven,” “Queen of Heaven.” The Dominican rosary and the Franciscan crown as well as numerous invocations in Mary’s litany celebrate her queenship. </p><p>The feast is a logical follow-up to the Assumption and is now celebrated on the octave day of that feast. In his 1954 encyclical <i>To the Queen of Heaven</i>, Pius XII points out that Mary deserves the title because she is Mother of God, because she is closely associated as the New Eve with Jesus’ redemptive work, because of her preeminent perfection and because of her intercessory power.</p> American Catholic Blog No one listens willingly to someone who speaks to them from a position of self-righteousness and judgment. Again and again in the Gospels, Jesus reserves his harshest words for those who ignore their own weakness in order to lord it over others.

 
PICKS OF THE WEEK
New from Servant Books!

Follow Jesus with the same kind of zeal that Paul had, guided by Mark Hart and Christopher Cuddy!

Pope Francis and Our Call to Joy

Reflect on Pope Francis's example and words to transform your own life and relationships.

New from Richard Rohr!

"This Franciscan message is sorely needed in the world...." -- Publishers Weekly

When the Church Was Young
Be inspired and challenged by the lives and insights of the Church's early, important teachers!
Spiritual Questions, Catholic Advice
Fr. John's advice on Catholic spiritual questions will speak to your soul and touch your heart.

 
CATHOLIC GREETINGS
Queenship of Mary
Mary exercises her queenship by serving God and her fellow human beings.
 
Wedding
May the Father, Son and Holy Spirit bless you in good times and in bad…
Back to School
Send them back to school with your love and prayers expressed in an e-card.
Happy Birthday
May this birthday mark the beginning of new and exciting adventures.
St. Helen
Send an e-card to remind those struggling with a broken marriage that you, God, and the Church still love and support them.



Come find us at: Facebook | St. Anthony Messenger magazine Twitter | American Catholic YouTube | American Catholic