AmericanCatholic.org
 
Skip Navigation Links
Home
Catholic News
Saints
Seasonal
Special Reports
Movies
Shopping
Donate
Share:
Facebook
Twitter
Google Plus
LinkedIn
Email
RSS Feeds

advertisement
opinion/commentary View Comments

Stop the Bullying
By Susan Hines-Brigger
Source: St. Anthony Messenger
Published: Thursday, January 6, 2011
Click here to email! Email | Click here to print! Print | Size: A A |  
 
In the past year, I have heard story after story—in the news, from friends and families and even at my own dinner table—about kids being bullied. It’s rampant. It’s everywhere. As we’ve unfortunately witnessed time and time again, it can be deadly.

And it needs to stop.

I know, I know. Bullying has gone on for years. I’m sure most of us can recount a story of it from our youth. There are even debates as to whether the media are jumping on the recent rash of suicides brought on by bullying and overblowing the concept of kids being “bullied to death.”

But things are different now. And, on the off-chance that things aren’t being overblown, I’m going to say something. The explosion of instant communication—cell phones, the Internet and the whole world of social media—has opened up a whole new arena in which bullies can play.

Regardless if it’s being overly hyped or not, Tyler Clementi, Phoebe Prince, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg and many other young people obviously thought what was happening to them was bad enough to make them take their own lives.

Some of the earliest lessons we parents try to teach our kids are to play nice, be kind to others and use manners. So where do things get off course?

Most parenting experts will say that you can tell kids things till you’re blue in the face. What will most likely stick with them, though, is not what you say, but what you show them through your own actions.

Rachel Simmons, cofounder of the Girls Leadership Institute and author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl, has been studying bullying, writing about it and working with schools and families around the country for over a decade.

In the article “The Nine Most Common Myths About Bullying” posted on www.Newsweek.com, Simmons says, “In fact, it’s parents who can be the biggest bullies of all....Parents replicate the same nerve-racking hierarchies they are so quick to condemn on the playground. They exclude children and parents from parties, playdates and coffee, or publicly gossip about other people’s children. Until parents hold themselves to the same standards we impose on our kids, real change will be impossible.”

She’s right. We parents are guilty of contributing to this problem every time we fail to speak up, pass on the latest gossip, degrade others when they fail to see things our way or pass uninformed judgments. We do it in our homes, at work, on the playing fields, in schools and even in our church—all in plain sight of our kids. We rattle off catchphrases like “What would Jesus do?” and then fail to do it.

In the case of Phoebe Prince, the district attorney said teachers witnessed Phoebe being bullied, but said nothing until after her death.

In 2006, Megan Meier committed suicide by hanging herself three weeks before her 14th birthday. Lori Drew, the mother of one of Megan’s friends with whom she had a fallingout, was later charged for her involvement in the cyberbullying of Meier.

We love our kids. That is why we, as parents, need to step up and take action. That action begins with each one of us.

What can we do? Rachel Simmons says she wishes “more adults would come clean and level with kids about their own past. Doing this opens a channel of honest communication between youth and adults, instead of making kids feel like they are doing something no one has ever done before. If we don’t model self-reflection, how can we expect kids to do the same?”

Surely, our kids know that we love them just the way they are no matter what happens, right? On the offchance that they may be feeling uncertain about things, let them know you’re there. Tell them and then tell them again.

My colleague Christopher Heffron blogged about this very subject at http://blog.americancatholic.org/2010/11/02/still-a-child-of-god-2. Read it.

Finally, set the example you want kids to follow.

All parents I know would do anything for their kids. So as a mom I’m asking you, begging you—parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles—please do your part to help stop the bullying. And remember, our kids are watching.


More Catholic Community Speaks
blog comments powered by Disqus


Bridget: From age seven on, Bridget had visions of Christ crucified. Her visions formed the basis for her activity—always with the emphasis on charity rather than spiritual favors. 
<p>She lived her married life in the court of the Swedish king Magnus II. Mother of eight children (the second eldest was St. Catherine of Sweden), she lived the strict life of a penitent after her husband’s death. </p><p>Bridget constantly strove to exert her good influence over Magnus; while never fully reforming, he did give her land and buildings to found a monastery for men and women. This group eventually expanded into an Order known as the Bridgetines (still in existence). </p><p>In 1350, a year of jubilee, Bridget braved a plague-stricken Europe to make a pilgrimage to Rome. Although she never returned to Sweden, her years in Rome were far from happy, being hounded by debts and by opposition to her work against Church abuses. </p><p>A final pilgrimage to the Holy Land, marred by shipwreck and the death of her son, Charles, eventually led to her death in 1373. In 1999, she, Saints Catherine of Siena (April 29) and Teresa Benedicts of the Cross (Edith Stein, August 9) were named co-patronesses of Europe.</p> American Catholic Blog In prayer we discover what we already have. You start where you are and you deepen what you already have and you realize that you are already there. We already have everything, but we don’t know it and we don’t experience it.

 
PICKS OF THE WEEK
Wisdom for Women

Learn how the life and teachings of St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein) serve as a guide for women’s unique vocations today.

A Wild Ride

Enter the world of medieval England in this account of a rare and courageous woman, Margery Kempe, now a saint of the Anglican church.

The Wisdom of Merton

This book distills wisdom from Merton's books and journals on enduring themes which are relevant to readers today.

A Spiritual Banquet!

 

Whether you are new to cooking, highly experienced, or just enjoy good food, Table of Plenty invites you into experiencing meals as a sacred time.

Pope Francis!

Why did the pope choose the name Francis? Find out in this new book by Gina Loehr.


 
CATHOLIC GREETINGS
St. Bridget of Sweden
Let someone know that you're inspired by St. Bridget's life with a feast day e-card.
I Made a Peace Pledge
Let peace reign in your heart today and every day.
Happy Birthday
We pray that God’s gifts will lead you to grow in wisdom and strength.
Mary's Flower - Rose
Mary, center us as you were centered.
Get Well
All who suffer pain, illness, or disease are chosen to be saints.



Come find us at: Facebook | St. Anthony Messenger magazine Twitter | American Catholic YouTube | American Catholic