Michelle is trying to decide what she's going to do after high school. She sits down and takes out her special notebook. She's been keeping a journal for the past year-not every day, but pretty regularly. She writes down some of her thoughts and feelings about the decisions she has to make.

Jim's dad is an alcoholic. A lot of times, Jim's too embarrassed to bring friends back to the house because he's afraid of what Dad will do when he's been drinking. Today, Jim takes a long walk along the beach. It clears his mind and gives him strength to get through the day.

A couple of times a week, Amber hauls out her easel and sketchpad and spends some time just drawing. Sometimes she draws pictures of her family or friends. Sometimes she just draws whatever she's feeling that day, whether it's happy, sad or mad.

What do Amber, Jim and Michelle have in common? Believe it or not, all of them are praying. They're doing it in their own unique ways and maybe it doesn't even look like the "real" prayer you learned as a child. But each one has found a prayer style that's been practiced by countless Christians through the ages. Have you found a style that's good for you?

When you were younger, maybe you learned a number of prayers by heart. You said them at meals, before you went to sleep and at Sunday Mass. Now, as a young adult, you wonder what all those words mean. Perhaps you've also gotten bored with saying the same things over and over.

And who exactly is listening to all these prayers? Is there really some bearded old man sitting on a cloud out there and taking it all in? Does he actually care whether or not you pass that math test? Will he help your grandmother get better? Is there anyone listening at all? Before we talk about prayer, we need to talk about God. When you hear the word "God," what image comes into your mind? Is God a "he"? Do you ever imagine God as female-a mother or grandmother? Some teenagers I know describe God as a force, a vast energy field or as a presence of love. Others talk about God as a special friend, a "fun person," someone who is always there. Still others see God as Jesus-a human being who experienced everything we do, someone who really understands. How do you picture God?

It might help to recall a time when you felt especially close to God. How old were you? Who were you with? Was it a happy or a sad time that made you feel close to God? Was there a special person who made you feel God's love in a new way?

This Youth Update aims to connect your best prayer experiences with a variety of prayer styles that other people have found helpful. All of them are based on a few key beliefs:

• God is present in human experience, especially in human relationships.

• God still speaks to human beings-and speaks through all our feelings, our imagination, thoughts, events and other people.

• We can hear God speaking to us, but it takes effort. Prayer is a means of listening. Listening can be difficult.

• Being "holy" or close to God is not something odd or different from being human. The surest proof of our closeness to God is how compassionate and just we are to the people we live with every day.

• While we may pray alone, prayer connects us to the human family and to Church. If we get serious about prayer, it's a good idea to find a guide or a companion. We need someone wiser and more experienced to keep us connected to the whole Christian tradition.

Getting Ready to Pray

A few basic preparations will make your prayer experiences more worthwhile. No matter which style of prayer and meditation you try, keep these few simple points in mind.

• Pick a time of day that's good for you. Some people are early birds; others are night owls. It's hard to pray when you're drowsy.

• Give yourself time to pray. If you're too busy and too rushed, you can't really give your attention or energy to prayer. Your mind will be someplace else. It's good to set aside a prayer time, even if it's only for a few minutes, when you can really focus.

• Find a good place to pray. You need to know you won't be interrupted or disturbed for the time you're trying to pray.Your special place should also be comfortable for you. If you need any special materials (notebook, Bible, drawing paper, paint, tape player), have them ready when you begin.

Now that you're all ready to pray, how do you do it?

In the late 1960's, a psychologist named Robert Ornstein began studying the various ways that people meditate. He looked at many religions and cultures as part of his research. In the end, Dr. Ornstein decided that there are really only three basic types of meditation and prayer: the prayer of concentration, the prayer of expression and the prayer of just being.

Each person will probably prefer one of these prayer styles over the other two. It will take less effort at the beginning and will seem more rewarding. As you gain more experience with prayer and meditation, you may want to branch out and try a whole different approach. It's usually helpful at the start, though, to take some time finding the one style that fits your personality best.

Prayer of Concentration

Let's look at the "prayer of concentration" first. This form of prayer often appeals to people who are "thinking types." Do you try to work out your problems in a logical, step-by-step way? Do you consider all the pros and cons before you make a decision? Are you more likely to rely on thinking than on feelings? If so, this type of meditation may work well for you.

Basically, prayer of concentration involves focusing your attention on a particular object or idea. You use your energy and will power to concentrate-either for a certain length of time or until the process is done. If your attention wanders, you deliberately bring it back to what you're meditating on, as you strive to rise above everyday distractions and focus your mind on God.

Experiments in the prayer of concentration: 1) Let's say you're going to use the Bible to pray. You open up to the 10th chapter of Luke's gospel and read to yourself the story of the Good Samaritan. When you're finished, you close your eyes and think. You might ask yourself some questions: "Who are my neighbors? Have I ever passed by someone who needed my help-like the people in Jesus' story? How can I be a `good Samaritan' to my family and my friends? What's one good deed I could do today?" In this example, you are concentrating on the story Jesus told and trying to apply it to your life.

2) Another way to practice the prayer of concentration is to use your powers of imagination to place yourself into the story. Imagine yourself as the traveler being mugged on the highway. How does it feel to be passed by and ignored? What feelings do you have--frustration, hopelessness, anger, fear? How do you feel when the Samaritan finally stops to help you? Does this remind you of any other experiences you've had in your own personal life? By concentrating on the story in these ways, you gain a deeper insight into Jesus' purpose in telling the parable. This is a method suggested by St. Ignatius, who believed you can train your imagination and mind just as athletes strengthen their bodies through exercise.

3) You could pick a song to listen to-any record that's in the Top 40 and has to do with love. (There are plenty of them!) Find a place where you won't be disturbed and play the song for yourself several times. Imagine that you are saying the words of this song to Godor that God is singing them to you. Imagine that God is no longer far away, cold or impersonal. Instead, God is passionately in love with you, treasures you, longs for you, can't wait to be with you.

People using this style of prayer often write down their thoughts and feelings so it may be helpful to start a diary or a journal. Reading a short passage from a book can also get your prayer time off to a good start. It doesn't have to be the Bible. Many modern authors have wise things to say about life and love. Just paging through a book of quotations or a collection of poetry can get you started.

Prayer of Expression

A second style of prayer is the "prayer of expression" or "creative prayer." This frequently appeals to those who are "feeling types." Do you usually "go with your heart" when making a decision? Do you consider yourself spontaneous? Are you fairly outgoing and active? If so, this prayer style gives you a chance to express your inner self and find God in action and movement.

When you think of praying, you probably have a picture of someone sitting or kneeling quietly, maybe in a church. But the prayer of expression usually involves some kind of physical activity. It is "praying by doing." You can draw, paint, sculpt, photograph, play a musical instrument, dance, act, mime, juggle, garden, run, stretch into a yoga posture or even practice a martial arts form. You pray with your whole body: eyes, ears, muscles, joints.

The key to this form of prayer lies in being mindful. You consciously remember that you are in the presence of God right here, right now. You pray to God the Creator, God who is infinitely expressive. You recall that God looked at all of creation and called it "good." By using the body and talents God has given you, you praise and express the very Spirit of God.

The prayer of expression often appeals to poets, musicians and artists. Such people know that some feelings and experiences can't be understood just with the head. When you're very angry or very sad or very joyful and excited, it's often better to express the feelings than to brood over them.

Experiments in the prayer of expression:

1) Look again at the story of the Good Samaritan. The prayer of concentration would focus on the "point" of the parable. What would be some expressive ways of praying this same Bible passage? Sit down with a sketch pad and some paints or pastels. After you've read the story, let your imagination guide your hand. Capture the heart of Jesus' story with a drawing.

2) Find a place where you can move freely. Stand up and make up a dance or a mime about the Good Samaritan. Let your body pray the story. If you have some musical talent, you could fashion a song or a melody that sums up the inner feeling of this parable.

3) Common everyday tasks can also become prayer: washing the dishes, eating, walking, exercising. Instead of just doing them automatically, really notice what you're doing. Feel the weight and texture of objects. Pay attention to what your body feels like-how your muscles move, how you tense and relax.

The Prayer of Just Being

In the Hebrew Scriptures, one of the psalms says, "Be still and know that I am God." An old American folk saying goes: "Sometimes I sits and thinks. And sometimes I just sits." These quotations are good descriptions of a third style of prayer-the "prayer of just being." In Buddhism, there is a kind of meditation known as "zazen," which literally means "just sitting." But this is not just an Eastern form of prayer. In the Christian tradition, the prayer of just being has been called contemplation.

The prayer of concentration and the prayer of expression both focus on a specific idea or activity. The prayer of just being, however, requires that you do nothing and think nothing. It is especially helpful when you find that you simply cannot think anymore, on those days when you have absolutely no creativity left, when you are either stressed out or can feel it coming.

Have you ever sat on a beach (or remembered it vividly) and watched the waves roll in and out, totally lost in the sound of the surf? Have you ever sat by the side of a stream or river and just listened to the water rushing by? Do you remember gazing for hours at the flames in a fireplace or campfire? These are all moments of "just being." Your mind is focused on nothing in particular, but you have a feeling of deep peace and well-being. In Christian terms, you rest in the presence of Godwithout any need to have clever insights or creative expressions.

Many people have found that they start praying with either the way of concentration or the way of expression. The way of just being seems to come later. This prayer of stillness also seems best suited to moments of sadness, loss and tragedy. If you've ever lost someone you loved, you know that some feelings are just too deep for words. There are times when all you can do is to say: "God, here I am. You know what I'm going through. I know you're there-even if I can't see you or touch you." In this way, the prayer of just being is also an act of deep faith. Nothing seems to be happening. God seems to be silent. But you keep on trusting that God loves you and will never leave you alone with your problems.

Experiments in the prayer of just being:

1) Sit upright with your back straight. You can either sit on the floor or in a straightbacked chair with your feet flat on the floor. Place a lighted candle in front of you. Take a few slow, deep breaths. Become aware of the sound which is farthest away. Become aware of the sound which is closest to you. Gaze at the candle. Imagine that the candlelight is flowing out to you and warming you from the inside. With every breath you take, warmth and peace spread throughout your neck, shoulders, back, arms and all the way down to your legs. Notice your breathing becoming slower and deeper, all by itself, without any effort on your part. Spend a few minutes resting in this calm, peaceful feeling. If your attention begins to wander, just focus gently again on the candle. Close with a short prayer of thanks to God.

2) You could also find a place outdoors where there is water-a beach, stream or waterfall. Find a comfortable place where you can sit down alone. Spend a few minutes just paying attention to your breathing. Then notice all the sounds and smells of this outdoor place. Feel the wind and sun on your skin. Gradually focus on the water. Imagine the flowing water washing over you, cleansing away all worries, tension, anger, tiredness. Find the rhythm in the water. Feel the power, the depth and the coolness of that water within you. Thank God for this water that refreshes and keeps growing things alive.

3) Another choice is to pick a piece of music with no words. A more "mellow" kind of music would be best: classical, New Age, jazz, softer rock. Clear your mind and focus on your breathing before you begin the music. Try to listen to it as if for the first time. Try to feel the music in your body. Pay attention to any feelings or images that rise up within you as you're listening. Give yourself some quiet time after the music is done. Express a prayer to God that comes out of the music.

To Know God

Each of these three prayer styles has great power. Each has been used by many holy women and men throughout history. Try each one as often as you need to until you find the one that's right for you. Regular prayer and meditation will not take away all your problems. In fact, praying may even make you uncomfortable. As you become more attentive and sensitive, you may suffer more from the pain and injustice you see in this world of ours. But as your awareness expands, so too will your openness to God's grace.

In the 14th century, an anonymous writer had this to say about becoming a person of prayer: "Labor and sweat, therefore, in every way that you can, seeking to obtain for yourself a true knowledge and feeling of yourself as you are. And then I believe that, soon afterward, you will have a true knowledge and feeling of God as [God] is."

Kevin Jones-Prendergast, M.A., was a full-time youth minister for 15 years. He currently works in Cincinnati as a therapist with adolescents, families and couples. Kevin and his wife, Maggie, have two sons, Patrick and Brendan. His publications for St. Anthony Messenger Press include a book, Letters to God from Teenagers, and a previous Youth Update entitled "Who Cares About Prayers?"

Youth Update advisers who previewed this issue, suggested important changes and asked questions of the author are Theresa Bollinger, 16; Heather Ireland, 16; Lisa Jackson, 16; Beth Keil, 16; Ted Loeffelholz, 17; and Emily Springer, 15. All are members of Ascension Parish in Kettering, Ohio.