Auschwitz was the place. In July 1941, a Nazi officer at the concentration camp chose 10 men at random to be starved to death as punishment for the escape of one inmate. One of those chosen cried out for mercy, —Spare me! I have a wife and two young children.—

Maximilian Kolbe, a Franciscan priest, offered to take the husband—s place. His offer was accepted! Placed in a basement cell, Kolbe lovingly cared for the other nine prisoners. He was declared a saint in 1982.

St. Maximilian Kolbe understood the full challenge of observing the commandment of Jesus, —Love one another— (John 15:17). The Ten Commandments offer wise guidance for us to learn how to act as Christians and with courage.

In another Youth Update, I have offered some explanation of the first three commandments, which teach us how to love God. This Youth Update tackles the other seven, which show us how to love our neighbor.

The Fourth Commandment deals with real family values, thousands of years before politicians used the phrase to campaign for votes. —Family values— means the respect in word and deed that sons and daughters should have toward older people and the respect in word and deed that parents should have toward their children—and toward their own parents as they age.

The Fourth Commandment speaks of honoring parents. This commandment is really a roundup call for everyone in the family to respect everyone else. Parents are responsible for the spiritual and physical needs of their children. Children are responsible to honor, love and obey their parents and contribute positively to the life of the family.

This doesn—t make everyone boring or simply ordinary. Differences are treasured as gifts from God. Maturing—and independence—are part of God—s plan for human growth. —Honoring— doesn—t mean always agreeing, but that respect and love are always present. And frequent forgiveness is the healing oil that seals the family bond and keeps us strong.

Healthy families, in turn, can make society healthy. Public authority should respect the rights of the family. Healthy families produce citizens who are honest, loving, just, merciful and faithful, just what the world needs!

Douglas Lathrop—s life is affected by the way people understand and keep the Fifth Commandment. Our faith tells us that human life is sacred because God created it. God alone is in charge of life from its beginning to its end. No one can claim the right to directly destroy a human being. Pope John Paul II says that a —culture of death— has been adopted in many societies today. He means that U.S. society (to name one) has publicly disregarded God—s law in many ways. This is a path to self-destruction, because this path is not God—s path.

Abortion is part of this culture of death. Abortion is the direct and deliberate killing of an unborn baby. Deliberate is an important word here, because many times women who have an abortion—and men who encourage them or abandon both mother and child—are led by fear, pressures and even force to make such a decision.

Because the Fifth Commandment concerns the sacredness and respect for all life, a Christian response to war, capital punishment, suicide, stem-cell research and euthanasia must be inspired by this commandment, which is about more than not killing: It is a commandment to promote peaceful and healthy living.

Reverence for the sacredness of human life is the best antidote to a culture of death. The motto, —Choose life,— really embraces all the ways in which we are guided to keep the Fifth Commandment.

If you believe that anger and fear are indeed —bad— or —negative,— you might feel that you are bad or that something is wrong with you each time you experience them. This may tempt you to stuff them or get rid of them as soon as they surface in your life rather than accept and befriend them.

You will also be prone to feeling guilty when anger and fear get the best of you. When you —go off— in anger, especially, you may try even harder to stuff or get rid of these troublesome feelings.

Around and around you go: Stuffed or rejected anger or fear leads to mistakes in handling. Perhaps you blow up at someone (anger) or refuse to take a healthy risk (fear). Then you feel lousy about yourself. This causes you to deny your feelings once again and the circle repeats itself.

Though anger and fear challenge you, trouble you and often involve pain, they are neither negative nor bad in and of themselves. They are simply part of your complex humanity with a bad reputation, because of the circle I just described—one of destructive handling.

If you can begin to view these two powerful emotions as natural, normal and potentially good rather than as negative, abnormal and always bad, you have a much better chance of managing them, rather than allowing them to manage or dominate you. The challenge for all of us—teens and adults—is to discover and practice healthy coping skills, so that unchecked anger and unchallenged fear do not lead us astray from the courageous—and compassionate—way of life modeled for us by Jesus Christ.

The bottom-line message of the Sixth and Ninth Commandments concerns faithfulness to God—s awesome gift of sexuality celebrated in marriage. The marriage covenant is a mirror of God—s covenant with us. The divine commitment is faithful, permanent and loving. The same should be true of marriage vows.

God is the author of sex and marriage. God created humankind: man and woman. They are equal images of God who gives them great dignity. Their physical and other personal differences complement and complete the other.

God—s plan for marriage calls for a union of permanent love between husband and wife, which creates a safe and nurturing place for children.

At the heart of these commandments is not a negative —Thou Shalt Not— but a positive, generous and life-giving way to embrace the incredible gift of our sexuality flowing from self-control and a love for others and self.

Would you agree that what our world needs now more than ever are the fruits born from following these two great commandments? Faithfulness, generosity, selflessness, respect and personal chastity can transform our lives and our world. Then what seems like a lot of —nots— becomes a yes to loving as Jesus loves us.