Q U I C K S C A N

Tolerance in Religion
Becoming More Tolerant
For Teens: Role Reversal
For Kids: Give It a Try

As a mom, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard one of my kids tell me that they didn’t like something or someone—despite the fact that they had never tried it or gotten to know the person. Of course, I must confess that I have also been guilty of doing the same thing more than I’d like to admit. Honestly, we all are.

The fact that I am writing on this topic for the month when we are marking the fifth anniversary of the September 11 attacks has not escaped me. Following those attacks, people’s tolerance for anything outside their comfort zone or understanding seemed to be at an all-time low.

Granted, tolerance is not easy. It never has been. But that doesn’t mean we can’t strive to do better. Only when we learn to become more tolerant can we move forward. Many changes throughout history have taken place because of people becoming more tolerant and accepting.

Tolerance in Religion

I’m sure you’ve heard the advice that the two things you should never openly discuss are politics and religion. And I’m sure we’ve all experienced why that’s true at one time or another. As a writer for this magazine for the past 12 years, I know I have.

But sometimes people tend to become very rigid in their beliefs and opinions. Tolerance isn’t even given a chance. And sometimes civility goes right out the door with it.

That’s certainly not the example that Jesus gave us. Let’s be honest—Jesus hung out with some questionable characters for his time. But just because he was in their company didn’t mean he adopted their ways. He actually strove to make them better. What better lead is there for us to follow?

Becoming More Tolerant

Learning and practicing tolerance is an ongoing process. Here are suggestions to help:

Stop, look and listen. You’re not compromising your beliefs simply by listening to different points of view. And you may not change your mind on an issue, but you may gain some insight and understanding. For example, I recently went to see the movie The Da Vinci Code. But just because I saw the movie didn’t mean I was buying into its premise. In fact, in many ways it probably strengthened the beliefs I already had.

Build a good base. The best place to start trying to be more tolerant is in your everyday life. For example, try harder not to lose your temper with your kids. Be more tolerant with your parents, your spouse, your co-workers, etc. After you get a handle on that you can step it up to the next level and try to be more tolerant in your beliefs on bigger issues.

Be a student again. We’re never too old to stop learning. Try to find a way to learn about something new or expand your knowledge about something with which you are already familiar. Take a course or go to a lecture on a subject you’ve always wondered about but never fully understood. Check with a local college or university or even your local library for such opportunities.

Next Month: Let There Be Light

For Teens: Role Reversal

One of the reasons people are sometimes intolerant is because of a lack of understanding. As a teenager, you’ve had adults criticize some of your choices in music, clothes, activities, etc., I’m sure. But that’s nothing new. I can remember my parents questioning some of my tastes when I was a teenager. But what can be different is how you respond.

For instance, if your parents don’t understand your enjoyment of skateboarding or playing video games, take some time to explain or show what it is you love about that activity. Invite them into your interests.

But remember that tolerance and understanding is a two-way street. Is there something one of your parents enjoys but you’re not sure why? Ask your mom or dad if you can join in that activity. For instance, does your mom like to scrapbook? If so, sit down with her and give it a try. (You could even produce a scrapbook about one of your interests.) Or if your dad works on cars, hang out with him and ask what he enjoys so much about it. You just might find some common ground—or some new interests—in the process.

For Kids: Give It a Try

Have you ever said you didn’t like something “just because”? It could be a type of food, a person or a certain activity, game or sport. Before you said you didn’t like it, did you try it? Sometimes people make decisions about things before they even give them a try. For the next couple of weeks, challenge yourself to be a little more adventurous. Before you say you don’t like something, give it a try. You may discover that you like some new things. If you don’t, at least you have a reason why.