John fell while taking his trash to
the curb and broke his hip. He had
surgery, followed by weeks in a
rehab facility, and finally returned
home. Once there, he never seemed as
healthy as he once was—he was weaker,
and just not the same. His wife noticed
this and was worried. Every time his
children came to visit, they thought
he seemed diminished.
Whether it's one of our parents who
receives a diagnosis of dementia, an
elderly aunt who needs to move to
assisted living or a dear friend who
learns he or she has cancer, the news is
tough. It's traumatic not only to the
person diagnosed, but also for their
loved ones.
SPONSORED LINKS
 An Emotional Whirlwind
A serious diagnosis creates a bundle of
strong emotions: shock, loss of control,
helplessness, anxiety about upcoming
medical procedures, fear about
the long-term prognosis and worry over
financial issues. We cannot see the long
road which lies ahead. We feel a loss
when we see our loved ones weaken,
realizing they are no longer quite
"themselves," able to do what they
could formerly do.
All-powerful and ever-living God,
the lasting health of all who believe in you,
hear us as we ask your loving help for the sick;
restore their health,
that they may again offer joyful thanks
in your Church.
—Roman Missal |
Dealing with the medical facts can
help us feel that we have at least a little
control over the disease. Finding the
best specialists in town, a helpful support
group and state-of-the-art medical
services for the patient at home or in
medical venues can offer us hope. What
can be far more challenging, though, is
facing the emotional fallout.
When we take a loved one to medical
buildings for tests or conferences,
we can both feel frightened. Having to
make decisions—should they choose
chemo? surgery? neither?—wears us
out. Should they try a new medicine?
An experimental procedure? A new
doctor? What's the best option?
We have to make difficult life-and-death
decisions and can feel confused
and uncertain. We might feel angry at
God, or we wish that we had the illness
or disease instead of our loved one.
Spiritual Support
This is precisely when we need to ask
God to help us remember that he is
with us, has always been with us and
will stay with us. There is no way out—only through. But God is with us on
the journey.
The Word of Scripture can offer us
comfort in these difficult times. Pray
with your loved one, and remember
the firm, comforting words from the
Prophet Isaiah: "But now, thus says the
LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and
formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I
have redeemed you; I have called you
by name: you are mine. When you pass
through the water, I will be with you;
in the rivers you shall not drown.
When you walk through fire, you shall
not be burned; the flames shall not
consume you" (43:1,2).
I often pray these words (or sing
them, "Be Not Afraid") when I am waiting
with someone who has to go
through a medical procedure or is waiting
for test results. Sometimes I even
pray them with a friend over the
phone.
Sickness is a part of life. Although we
cannot cure every disease, what we can
offer our ailing loved ones is our presence.
Talk to them. If you live out of
town, call them and listen. Offer your
prayers and love and be with them in
true support. Do not worry about saying
the "right words."
If you can accompany a loved one to
a medical test, doctor's appointment
or medical treatment, your presence is
a warm gift in contrast to all the cold,
impersonal machines and equipment.
We can offer strong doses of compassion,
empathy and caring—exactly
what Jesus, the Great Healer, offers
us.
Sister Karen Zielinski,
O.S.F., was director of communications
for the Sisters of
St. Francis of Sylvania, Ohio,
from 1991 to 2008. She is
now director of Canticle Studio, for products
which focus on spirituality and health. She
can be contacted at whollyhealthy@
AmericanCatholic.org. |
