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The Bucket List may not become a classic.
But this recent film has inspired
me to begin a special project this Lent.
It’s a task that will take the rest of my
life to complete.
In the film, Morgan Freeman and
Jack Nicholson portray elderly terminal
cancer patients who write a list of
things they want to do before they
“kick the bucket.” Then they start taking
action on the items.
Their list constantly changes, as they
add new entries and cross off those
completed. Their sense of satisfaction as
they draw lines through entries and see
how many of their goals they have met
shows how useful a written list can be.
Screenwriter Justin Zackham explains
that the inspiration for this film came
during a crossroads in his own life. Not
only did he write his bucket list; he’s
also working on a book on the topic.
The Bucket List is reminiscent of Tim
McGraw’s song “Live Like You Were
Dying.” Both the film and the song
include men facing the end of their
lives who go skydiving and mountain
climbing—things they want to do. They
also decide to love deeper, speak sweeter
and reconcile—things they should do. At
the time Tim McGraw recorded this
song, his father, Tug, was dying.
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 The Written Word
Writing our bucket lists and taking
action on the entries is one way to prepare
for our death, which may come
without warning. St. Paul warns us “that
the day of the Lord will come like a
thief at night” (1 Thessalonians 5:2).
Whenever I attend a funeral, especially
an unexpected death, I mentally
compose my bucket list and have good
intentions of acting on it. But a written
list would serve as a constant reminder,
especially if posted where it would stare
back at me and nag me to get moving
before it’s too late.
It’s probably easy to come up with a
list of things we want to do before we
die. But compiling a list of things we
should do could be more difficult. That
should-do list is the one that seems
appropriate to focus on each Lent.
Making should-do lists during Lent
would give us the opportunity to see
what we’ve achieved, how we’ve
changed and what we’ve been putting
off for too long. Last year’s overdue
items should become this year’s
priority.
The should-do list reminds me of
spiritual spring housecleaning. We ask
God’s forgiveness in the Sacrament of
Reconciliation, but we need to follow
that up with asking someone we’ve
injured to forgive us.
Such a list also reminds us of what
our priorities should be. I always have
great intentions to visit, phone or send
cards to sick relatives and friends. But
unless I have a written note that keeps
staring back at me, I often fail to take
action.
Last summer my two sisters and I
cancelled other plans so we could visit
an aunt who was near death. Although
our aunt slept during our entire visit,
we spoke softly to her, recalling good
times together. Our aunt died the next
day.
After my older son, Tim, died, I received
several sympathy cards weeks
and months later from people who had
just found out about his death. Most of
these belated expressions included
notes explaining their connection. That
taught me that it’s never too late to
express sympathy, even if I only have
a casual connection to the deceased. In
some cases, I’ve sent e-mails through
the funeral home: The most personal
expressions of sympathy I received were
in e-mails.
Another should-do item is to thank
people who have made a positive impact
on our lives. I was in my 40s when I
graduated from college. A few years later,
someone told me that my achievement
influenced her to enroll in college.
In The Bucket List, there’s a scene in
which the main characters laugh until
they cry: That’s an item on their list.
Laughter is good for our health and
can be contagious, so we should laugh
more often, either alone or with others.
Developing Our Humanity
Sadly, a serious illness is often the impetus
that finally motivates us to focus on
the things we should do. In a recent
AARP Magazine, Edward Readicker-Henderson writes about how Crohn’s
disease brought out the best in him:
“Not only was I going to be pleasant to
everyone I loved; I thought I’d try something
radical and be nice to myself.” He
made up his mind that no pain or illness
“would ever again stop me from
taking care of the people I love. Whatever
energy I had, I would give to them,
as they had done for me.”
His wife’s reaction to this change
was, “Being sick made you human.”
Laughing, loving and forgiving are
good ways to be human, to live like
we’re dying.—M.J.D. |
