What I have done for my marriage today is speak with my mother and father about what they recall about the preparation they had undertaken for my marriage. They were required to go into their church offices and fill out multiple pages of forms so that the wedding could proceed in this area, far from their home on the Mexican border. My mother recalls being told that the Santa Rosa area "does things a little differently" and, as she listened to me ask questions about the long ago past, she was so perceptive, insightful and endearing. I felt the blessings of God's light illuminate my anxious, exhausted person. I am troubled now just as I was when facing marriage 241/2 years ago, even after having been in a very close relationship with His family ans well as mine both interacting well that had lasted over four years before the marriage was a fixed date. Perhaps now, by retracing the journey of faith to where my marriage journey began I will soon understand and know what to do today and better prepare for the future. My husband may no longer be my husband, but I am still a viable human being regardless of having borne no family branch issued from me. That failing is not a condemnation, however aching and isolated I may, and do, feel during this Advent Season that so celebrates in general birth, family, togetherness, community, faith, spirituality, service, courage in adversity and patience as we await. Biologically and socially I am void, but I am still alive in the flesh and no less so for being without a loving, caring husband. My parents, too, are alive, and while that lasts, I will thank the Lord that they are the founders of a vigorous branch a family. So, what I have done for my marriage today is appreciate my parents and express this gratitude to them. I will celebrate advent like I am a tiny star witnessing the coming of Christ, and cherish This Advent without self pity. Thank you. Amen.

Eureka, California
Friday, December 05, 2008

My Jewish Husband and I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary on December 8, 2008. We have know each other for nearly 32 years and our faiths have never been a source of conflict. On the contrary, our Catholic and Jewish faiths respectively have only served to enrich our lives. We have embraced each others' traditions and have shared them with our daughter Hope, who was born shortly after our 17th anniversary. Our faith truly made way for our Hope, who personifies our Love. What have we done for our marrige today? Well, I would answer that with...What has our marrige done for us today and the last 25 years? The answer is easy.. Everything. We are fortunate to have each other...G-d is the Supreme Good! He has blessed us, with this gift and we are thankful and filled with joy.

Angela
New York
Wednesday, December 03, 2008

My husband and I have become an outward sign of Grace for others in the way we give ourselves to marriage ministries. We are on the Marriage Prep team at our parish and lead the Marriage Enrichment program for the parish as well. We are also in a leadership role for the local Worldwide Marriage Encounter group. And in the process of sharing our sacramental love with others we build our own relationship. It is wonderful to do ministry work with my spouse and lover. And in our preparation for these events we become more intimate ourselves. We also surround ourselves with other couples who are devoted to building their relationship as well and it is a wonderful support network.

Cathy
Lisle, Illinois
Tuesday, November 04, 2008

My husband and I have been married for 12 yrs now. In truth,we separated due to infidelity a few years ago. But we managed to try again and I thank God for that opportunity of forgiveness everyday. Most recently, we have brought God into our lives,family and marriage. What have I done for my marriage, I asked for another chance to make it right. Its a two way street. I listen to my husband, I nurture him the way he needs to be to fill his "love tank". In return, he fills mine. We communicate better and have grown closer together. Without God, I don't think we would have bothered.

Blanca
Texas
Monday, November 03, 2008

My name is Jacqueline and I was reading St. Anthony messenger this afternoon. The article asked that if anyone had an interesting story to please write and send it in. I smiled and said I know the perfect story, the story about my wedding to my loving husband Richard.
We were like most couples in the sixties, I was a working lady and Richard was in the armed forces. We dated off and on for years then on leave Richard popped the question. He asked me by my nickname, “Dol do you want to get married“? I can remember it like it was yesterday. My heart began to pound, my hands began to shake and I looked at his beautiful brown eyes and said are you kidding me! You better not be joking Richard, this is the first time I’ve seen you in six months. Richard looked me in the eyes and asked me again if I wanted to get married? I said yes! Richard said pick a date and a church, I’ll be there. I asked Richard if St. David’s would be acceptable. Richard smiled and said let’s not get married at the church I went to school at. So I said, how about if we get married at Old St. Mary’s in downtown Detroit? This church is the Catholic Church and school my Italian family went to. Old St. Mary’s church was and still is the most extraordinary home of our Lord. The paintings on the ceilings and walls are exquisite. It has small coves filled with candles and beautiful statues that are simply heavenly.
I was concerned because Richard and I were parishioners of St. David’s not Old Saint Mary’s but I was not going to let Richard slip away. So, I did what any intelligent woman would do, I called my mother and my Italian aunts for help. Since they had attended school at Old St. Mary’s I figured they had connections to Father Nader the pastor. Let’s just say before I drove the half mile to my mothers home the wedding date at Old Saint Mary’s had been set. I then gave Richard the date, February 19th 1966, he said “I’ll be there don’t worry“. Six months passed and I had only seen Richard three maybe four times. On February 18th we went to Old Saint Mary’s for the rehearsal and Father Nader gave us specific instructions on how the mass would proceed. Following the church rehearsal we went to the traditional thank you dinner where food, drinks and laughter were plentiful.
On the day of the wedding I was in the back of the church doing last minute adjustments to my makeup when the door abruptly swung open. The best man yelled Father John Nader said forget about everything we practiced yesterday! I looked at our best man and asked what you mean forget about what we practiced! I almost broke out crying and my mind began to race with questions like is Richard here, is someone ill and am I going to even get married at all? Before any questions could be answered the best man took off running and the organ began to play here comes the bride. The large doors opened and I proceeded down the aisle. I searched for Richard but I did not see him, all I could see were cousins, aunts and friends smiling and crying. I prayed, please God bring Richard to the alter even if he is kicking and screaming. As I got closer to the alter I could see Richard smiling and looking a little confused himself.
When my Dad handed me to Richard I noticed the alter had not one priest but three priests, this was going to be a solemn high mass. I thought to myself, God heard my prayers! He even made sure all the exits would be covered if Richard tried to run! When we rose to receive communion Father Nader said “the body of Christ” Richard said amen and then Father Nader said “the blood of Christ” and handed Richard the sacred challis. It was then my turn to receive communion. Father Nader said “the body of Christ” I said amen. Father Nader then said “the blood of Christ” and handed me the sacred challis. My hands were shaking and I thought I would faint. Amazingly this had been the first time a “wedding couple” at Old St. Mary’s had received the challis filled with our Lord‘s blood.
The solemn high mass was beautiful and wonderful; it filled our hearts with much honor, joy and love. I felt the Lord himself gave us his blessing. I am and will always be thankful for this most special and sacred day. Thank you Father John Nader, Father Joseph Rengers, and Father George Rengers but most importantly thank you God for answering my prayer. Forty one years later and still in love.




Jacqueline
Detroit, Michigan
Monday, October 27, 2008

My husband wasn't catholic when we met. He was a devout Christian, but I was desperate for us to worship together and raise our family in the Church, so I prayed a novena to St Anthony. Over those nine weeks of praying I found that my own desires changed. I realised that my husband-to-be had a deep relationship with God and that I needed to submit to God's will for my husband's life. When James did convert to Catholicism, it was thoroughly his own desire and not to please me; a fact which has given me peace and gratitude where I might have had doubts. Over the last ten years I have had to re-submit my own will for my husband's life, character, etc. to God's will for him. It is difficult sometimes to give up my own desires and to focus on what God wants for us as a family, but more and more I can see God in my husband and children. More and more I understand that what God desires for me and for us is far greater than anything I would choose for myself.

K L D
California
Saturday, October 04, 2008

when i got started a family at 23 i knew i was not ready for it but i had to be intelligent to go through it so i thought.

but intelligence through being able to cope with the in and out of marriage was not enough. there are more to it.

at 27 i got separated from my husband. it took me a lot of intelligence again to be able to cope with the separation. I never asked God why it happened because i knew the beginnings of the ove, courtship and marriage were faulty.

Instead, i asked God "what do youi want me to learn from all these? So God made me see that marriage or any relationship is always centered in Christ..and ours was not. Love is not blind, it sees all the goodness, weaknesses and failures of the other .. and we did not. Love is loving the other as you love yourself , there were givings and receivings... but there are still a lot more we were not willing to give , to receive or accept or even understand.

in the period of distance from the other i made myself understand why and what God wanted me me and still want me to learn.

I cannot hurt the person back because God loves him. I may be shattered inside and people see me least but God kept me whole and made me a better person and gave the skils where i could be great at.

it took me the separation to understand what marriage is. I understand it more now . I never wanted others to have the same.. i even came to a time praying , " be my separation the last in this world..." and since it couldnt be helped, i prayed..."may people come together.."

I am equally at fault, i may not have done the reason.. but because i submitted to the separation which is not of God's... i am answerable of the same to God.

I vowed. my marriage though of no practice... is stil marriage in God's eyes and before people. my children wanted our family together....how can i deprive them of such a prayer?

painful it was and painstaking if we would be...in God's grace...if he wills it... i begin praying too fo my marriage ; "may wecome together.."

leah
davao city, philippines

leah
Pennsylvania
Friday, September 26, 2008