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ON FAITH & MEDIA View Comments

Parental Guidance

By
Kurt Jensen
Source: Catholic News Service


Billy Crystal, Kyle Harrison Breitkopf and Joshua Rush star in a scene from the movie "Parental Guidance."
Though it means well, "Parental Guidance" (Fox) suffers from an excess of potty humor.

Granted, they're family-style potty gags, and every parent of a young child has probably experienced similar incidents to what is portrayed. It's just that such humor is a sign of desperation; it means the filmmakers have no better ideas.

One of the very few performers to handle such material successfully was the late Bernie Mac in his eponymous sitcom. It worked there because first of all, it was a half-hour program, and second, because children out of control in any way made Mac's character affect wounded dignity, do a slow burn or erupt in anger, and he had talented writers and versatile ways of putting this across.

Nothing of the kind here, alas. Director Andy Fickman and screenwriters Lisa Addario and Joe Syracuse, working from an idea of Billy Crystal's (who stars), produce some very stale and predictable ideas in this slow-moving story of grandparents who try to connect with grandchildren they've almost never seen.

Crystal is Artie Decker, who has longed to become a big-league radio announcer but has only gotten as far as calling games for the Fresno Grizzlies, the Triple-A farm team of the San Francisco Giants. For 35 years, he's wanted to work for the Giants, but loses his Fresno job when the team owner decides he's old-fashioned and attracts only older listeners.

At the same time, his daughter, Alice (Marisa Tomei), and son-in-law, Phil (Tom Everett Scott), who live overscheduled lives in Atlanta, have a chance to reconnect romantically on a weeklong sales conference in Hilton Head, S.C., for the "smart homes" Phil designs.

His parents are on a cruise. That means calling in "the other grandparents" -- Artie and Diane (Bette Midler) -- to take care of grandchildren they've not seen in years.

The children are wary of these earthy grandparents and have issues of their own. Aspiring violinist Harper (Bailee Madison), 12, is uncertain whether music is her life's goal; 9-year-old Turner (Joshua Rush) stutters and is bullied in school, and 5-year-old Barker (Kyle Harrison Breitkopf) has an imaginary kangaroo friend named Carl, who makes all his decisions for him.

There's a running gag involving a rude rhyme with Artie's name, and Breitkopf is assigned all the scenes involving scatological matters.

Political incorrectness ensues. Artie can't understand why all Turner's baseball games end in ties and kids stay at the plate until they get a hit, while Diane, a former TV weather girl, enjoys playing an aggressive stage mother to Harper. Barker confuses everyone and nearly stops a performance of the Atlanta Symphony, and Artie unsuccessfully auditions for a job announcing the X Games on ESPN.

Grandparental attention, even the clumsy kind, eventually helps all the children overcome their problems. Special use is made of a recording of the broadcast of Bobby Thomson's dramatic ninth-inning home run that captured the 1951 National League pennant for the then-New York Giants.

The film contains childish scatological humor. The Catholic News Service classification is A-I -- general patronage. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested.

*****
Kurt Jensen is a guest reviewer for Catholic News Service.



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Katharine Drexel: If your father is an international banker and you ride in a private railroad car, you are not likely to be drawn into a life of voluntary poverty. But if your mother opens your home to the poor three days each week and your father spends half an hour each evening in prayer, it is not impossible that you will devote your life to the poor and give away millions of dollars. Katharine Drexel did that. 
<p>She was born in Philadelphia in 1858. She had an excellent education and traveled widely. As a rich girl, she had a grand debut into society. But when she nursed her stepmother through a three-year terminal illness, she saw that all the Drexel money could not buy safety from pain or death, and her life took a profound turn. </p><p>She had always been interested in the plight of the Indians, having been appalled by what she read in Helen Hunt Jackson’s <i>A Century of Dishonor</i>. While on a European tour, she met Pope Leo XIII and asked him to send more missionaries to Wyoming for her friend Bishop James O’Connor. The pope replied, “Why don’t you become a missionary?” His answer shocked her into considering new possibilities. </p><p>Back home, Katharine visited the Dakotas, met the Sioux leader Red Cloud and began her systematic aid to Indian missions. </p><p>She could easily have married. But after much discussion with Bishop O’Connor, she wrote in 1889, “The feast of St. Joseph brought me the grace to give the remainder of my life to the Indians and the Colored.” Newspaper headlines screamed “Gives Up Seven Million!” </p><p>After three and a half years of training, she and her first band of nuns (Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament for Indians and Colored) opened a boarding school in Santa Fe. A string of foundations followed. By 1942 she had a system of black Catholic schools in 13 states, plus 40 mission centers and 23 rural schools. Segregationists harassed her work, even burning a school in Pennsylvania. In all, she established 50 missions for Indians in 16 states. </p><p>Two saints met when Katharine was advised by Mother Cabrini about the “politics” of getting her Order’s Rule approved in Rome. Her crowning achievement was the founding of Xavier University in New Orleans, the first Catholic university in the United States for African Americans. </p><p>At 77, she suffered a heart attack and was forced to retire. Apparently her life was over. But now came almost 20 years of quiet, intense prayer from a small room overlooking the sanctuary. Small notebooks and slips of paper record her various prayers, ceaseless aspirations and meditation. She died at 96 and was canonized in 2000.</p> American Catholic Blog Our task during these forty days is to examine our lives in light of God’s Word and see where we’ve allowed darkness to creep in, where we’ve taken the bait of the diabolical fisher of men. It’s time to use the sword of the Spirit to cut through his web of deception, to free ourselves from the net that holds us as prey.


 
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